Hi, my name is TIM. I am a 70-year-old purveyor of annoyance and I have one of the highest annoyance ratings of anyone in my state.... I am also a Jigidiist.
Many of you have been asking "what does an invisible man do in all of his spare time?" Well, the answer is I spend alot of time protecting my family from today's unseen killer... and preparing for tomorrows threat to my family's well being. Today we have COVID-19, an airborne pathogen. But what will tomorrow bring? A virus spread by tofu spores released by health food restaurants in Southern California? A deadly sickness spread by skin-to-skin contact with toilet seats that have been exposed to dangerous gasses for extended periods of time. Or maybe it will be a food borne illness spread by the careless handling of pig snouts, pig entrails or pig excretions (commonly known as Spamtococcus). I have been preparing for all of the above... and more
This past week I gathered all of my discarded plastic grocery bags and began connecting them together with duct tape. Taping one bag to another bag... and then one bag to another bag... and then to another bag... and another bag. I have estimated when I have securely taped 458,631 plastic bags together, I will be able to put a 'plastic bag' dome over my entire house, including the backyard. This will protect my family from airborne illnesses such as swamp gasses (in 1994, season 2, episode 4, Agent Mulder proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that swamp gas is the home of various UFO's). And what, prey tell, about the aforementioned threat of butt biting toilet seats? Once again the grocery bag dome will protect us from the rain, the snow and the insulting (but well deserved) obscenities launched by our neighbors as we discover the truth behind what bears REALLY do when they are in the woods.
I am currently extending an invitation to all of my friends, associates and sloths to join me in my secure surroundings under my grocery bag dome... the only prerequisite is each of you must bring a minimum of 35,000 grocery bags and the willingness to laugh (or at least chuckle) at my bad jokes... without threatening to chop me up into little pieces with your homemade knife (available in prisons everywhere)
I joined Jigidi on 8 May 2016 and was last seen on 26 November 2020. I've solved 6234 puzzles (3.7 daily) and put together 128423 pieces (77.2 daily)