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Does anyone know a good exterminator

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You may remember sometime last year I posted a picture of three flamingos that stopped in for a visit and stayed in one our trees. Well, as it turned out, these Flamingos must have been pleased with our accommodations because now we have a multitude of Flamingos living in the same tree. And worse yet, these Flamingos may be pretty, but they eat like horses.... our kitchen is now completely empty of small insects, crustaceans, mollusks, and small fishes. I hadn't noticed before, but our Chihuahua's and our other smaller dogs must look like brine shrimp because the Flamingos salivate whenever the small dogs go outside. As protection, the smaller dogs now dress up like Flamingos or coyotes whenever they go out to the backyard so they don't get attacked. What am I to do? I tried to 'shush' them away... and I lost two fingers. Any suggestions?

(I hope the hedge hog doesn't bring his family and friends...)
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msbonne

I have sent an old hot dog. You can cut to size, and glue to hand whilst regenerating.

Bubble

Am sending you a book on salamanders John, they have regeneration down pat ! (Ꙭ)

djp

That's the spirit John!

rswestley

Bub, I could probably spare an index finger, but my middle finger has been worn down to a nub due to overuse. I've ordered a book about regeneration, but it probably won't be here in time for Christmas.... the peak season for giving middle fingers :-)

Bubble

@rswestley

I hope you're not giving away a free index finger John, that would be truly offensive !
(Ꙭ)

msbonne

The plastic feathered flamingos tend to stick together when cooking.

ParsonWayne

Then chews wisely which bird you will be eating.

ulangariver

ParsonWayne, those rubber ones in the tree tend to be a bit chewy too.

ParsonWayne

They will tickle your innards if you don't get all of the feathers off before roasting, Nev.

racoonstar

Perhaps. ;D

mackabroin

LOL ......well that statement sure made me laugh racoon....LOL.......ya think???

racoonstar

There are quite a few things mentioned on Jigidi that are hard to swallow. ;)

mackabroin

good grief.......I can't imagine eating a flamingo.....and these specific ones would be very hard to chew I think......LOL

Kyrin

Is it pink mousse for dessert?

ulangariver

Nah, I've had pink flamingo for dinner far too often lately! :-)))

racoonstar

I didn't steal anything!
I found MY line where I usually find them, in the deep recesses of my twisted mind.
I am sorry that Ms_Maddy just happened upon the same line I used, but I do have to point out I used it first!

So if you're wanting dinner at rswestley's place, I suggest you contact Uber!

rswestley

I will put out an APB and have that masked bandit arrested... and then have him slow roasted over an open fire. Dinner at my place.... 7:00

Ms_Maddy

Raccoon stole my line.

ParsonWayne

Right!!! LOL, Kyrin.

Kyrin

Ha ha... two comical minds think alike ;-)

ParsonWayne

I wasn't sure people would get the pun if I said bird flew. I almost said it that way.

Kyrin

@ParsonWayne ...you sure that wouldn't be bird flew lol

Juba1010

Thanks PW. Sounds like it went up to Bubbles though.

ParsonWayne

Wonderbar-Gut, as the Amish would say, Juba.

Juba1010

The smoke here is clearing today. Ahhh

ParsonWayne

If those pink birds all leave at the same time, you will have a worse problem in the neighborhood - bird flu.

rswestley

You panicked me Juba. I thought I had somehow failed to put you on my mailing list. But no fears. I checked it out and you are still on my Christmas list

Juba1010

Good evening TIM. I don’t believe I’ve logged on to this one yet. Looks like the whole gang is here. I must have missed the party. TPTB could be invited too.

rswestley

dravale20, you are so cute when you are angry. Would you like me to get you a valium? Or a xanax?

Kyrin

LOL! And so wonderful to see you have a healthy interest in our inventive history :-D
Hugs to you and yours XOXO

rswestley

Kyrin, Kyrin, Kyrin.... Australia has given the world many important inventions, such as the Refrigerator (1856), Underwater torpedo (1874), Electric drill (1889), kangaroo road kill and killer sharks, but considering Australia also developed the "Black box flight recorder", the voice and instrument data recorder used to determine the reason an airplane crashed (1958) and the Inflatable escape slide - (1965) used to quickly remove passengers from a crashed airplane, I must assume Australia must have had an epidemic of crashed airplanes. If I were living in a country known for many airplane crashes, I too would rank unicorns and dragons as my favorite means of transportation.... "Hi Oh Silver, Away!!"

Kyrin

TIM ~ are you sure those French-feathered soldiers aren't actually spies just pretending to safeguard the tree?
As for spelling - we say that you Americans don't spell correctly ;-]
...and yes, unicorns and dragons are among my top favs XOXO

jals

pumpkin spice spam? Hard pass!

racoonstar

And for those who long for Fall, Pumpkin Spice Spam. Yes. Really.

https://www.foodandwine.com/news/pumpkin-spice-spam

racoonstar

Vegan Tofu Spam Musubi recipe:

https://veggiekinsblog.com/2019/08/14/vegan-tofu-spam-musubi/

Plant based Vegan Spam:

https://www.livekindly.co/theres-finally-vegan-spam/

rswestley

I witnessed similar spots on the ground when I toured the Serengeti, but the spots were red. One night while I were sleeping in my Walmart 3-person pup tent deep in the Serengeti, we heard screams in the distance followed by the sounds of tourniquets being tightened. When we finally arrived, there were red spots e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. Our tour guide called them "leopard spots"... the rest of us called it horrifying. That was when I became a vegetarian*

* - my vegetarian days did not last long... to my horror I found out Spam was not on the vegetarian menu

mycat1

Wow, you guys & gals, I love the pink flamingos in the tree. So let's all get back to reality and I hope TC can except the fact that down in the lower 48, we don't find flamingos disgusting. And the little pink spots on the snow adds color. Where was I going with this? I can spell reindeer.

jals

I think I could be the woman in the search party looking for herself. I sometimes lose myself in a good book. Usually I find myself when I finish reading the book, but there have been a couple of occasions when parts of me have gone missing. My mind is usually the first part to go missing. Sometimes I lose heart, but not often. It's been a long time since I've lost my temper, but it has been known to happen.
When I've lost my mind and my temper on the same day, my tongue is out of control, best to keep that reined in tight, with the reindeer.

SPaceDinVADerOne

must be a small addition, you were only gone for a day or two ;o)

msbonne

I was off surveying an addition to the compound.

SPaceDinVADerOne

but John ... Spam Jam has already been invented :o) it's the thin veil of gel that surrounds the SPAM in the can.

you haven't been scraping it off, have you?

rswestley

Hey, Hey, Hey Kyrin! How about a little respect? Alice didn't bring back those "pesky birds", those pesky birds are part of the French Flamingo Legion and they are on a military assignment... protecting my tree from international terrorists and wood peckers... not necessarily in that order.

I'm confused... you can spell reindeer, so you are in the top 14%, and yet you cannot spell "favorite" correctly... at least not in the northern hemisphere. Perhaps your spell checker is not working? Perhaps you unknowingly crossed the equator? Perhaps "favorite" smuggled in a "u" without you knowing?

Oh, and I'm surprised reindeer are among my most favorite (favourite) animals. I would have thought unicorns would be at the top of your list

rswestley

Listen up everybody.... please do not tell ThomasCat that all the trees in my backyard are made of plastic... as well as the walls... and all of the dirt...

Judy, we are on talking terms with most of our neighbors, and the ones we are not on talking terms with, we are on yelling terms. One our neighbors is a voodoo priestess and she is always thanking me... her sales of effigy dolls has gone waaaaaay up since we moved into the neighborhood

Nev, I have a leg to stand on. It's currently at the cleaners, but I should get it back next week

Jim... I'm really not sure if they taste like shrimp, but flamingos eat brine shrimp, and you are what you eat, so to be safe I have my pockets full of cocktail sauce at all times

John, you mentioned "Super Spam"... you know what rhymes with Spam? JAM... Jam rhymes with Spam. Coincidence? I don't think so. I think it is your destiny to make the first Spam Jam. Think about it John.... this could be your big break. And when you make it big... don't forget us little folk (btw, if you need a chauffer, I'm available

Dave, I have not considered opening a petting zoo, but I have thought about making the first plastic grocery bags with wings... birds, wings, bags, home delivery... sounds like the next big move for grocery stores

"Hey Hoff, don't wear red plaid
Take a puzzle and make it better
Remember to pass a really big fart
Then you can start to make it better"

Thanks for stopping in Hoff. I didn't see you for a day or two. Hope everything is OK. Do sloths have different holidays than normal people? Were you celebrating the sloth's "National Pee in a Tree Day" this weekend?

manicpuzzler

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Kyrin

Did Alice bring back those pesky birds from the Queen's garden again???
They must be sick of playing crochet...

Oh, and I'll pass on the free pink bird, but thanks anyway ;-)
Oh, and yes, a bit of Spielberg might be nice, thanks :)
Oh, and reindeer are among my most favourite animals
- just thought you should know :-D

msbonne

1) It is estimated that 86% of Americans cannot spell "raindeer" correctly.
- It was also found that 49% could not read it either.


2) After Spam gained international popularity because of its worldwide use during World War II, Hormel wanted to introduce "Super Spam", an improved Spam to the world, but Hormel did not know how to improve the already perfect combination of pig snouts and pig testicles.
- Super Spam was available for three days, sold out quickly, but was found it did not make soup any better than original Spam.

3) The U.S. congress has proposed replacing the embarrassing and socially degrading Independence Day holiday with a new and popular pastime. Every 3rd Monday of the month will be recognized as "National Tear Down a Statue Day". In observance of National Tear Down a Statue Day, all residents of the United States will be expected to burn a history book while dressed like one of the 'three blind mice'
- There is expected to be a large crowd on hand at Mt. Rushmore, but some are hesitant to attend, as none of those depicted on the monument are weraing masks.

4) With the help of a billion dollar grant (billion... with a "B") from congress, investigators conducted countless interviews with canine experts, including Rin Tin Tin, Lassie, Snoopy, Old Yeller (RIP) and Scooby Doo (*). After performing numerous exploratory surgeries and consulting with Ancestry.com, the scientists were able to determine that dachshunds (wiener dogs) are not actually made with wieners
(*) - Toto could not be located for comment. Dorothy, a spokesperson for Toto, says Toto has become a "storm chaser" and is currently in Kansas on assignment
- This has now been refuted, as wieners ARE required in the mating ritual.

5) "a" is the shortest word in the English language that has all of it's letters in alphabetical order (the letter "i" was disqualified as it comes in two parts, a vertical "l" and topped with a ".")
- The olde letter "aofhadff" was actually shorter, but they were not able to proof it.

6) "A tablespoon of mayonnaise" contains 12g of total fat, 5mg cholesterol.... and 23 letters
- There must be a tie in to chromosomes.

7) According to the New England Aquarium, vending machines are bigger threats to humanity than sharks. , You are twice as likely to be killed by a vending machine than a shark. Discovery Channel will be premiering a new season of "Vending Machine Week" in the spring of 2022
- If you see vending machines in the surf, DO NOT GO IN THE WATER.

8) More Spam news: By 2003, Spam was sold in 41 countries on six continents and trademarked in over 100 countries excluding the Middle East and parts of North Africa due to Spam being made with pork. In the Middle East, Hormel's attempt to sell "porkless Spam" was not successful (Hormel's "porkless Spam" was actually just an empty can of Spam)
- This version of spam did sell well with the vegans.

9) Due to the COVID-19 virus, gang members of 'MS-13' (L.A. and NYC), 'The Latin Kings' (Chicago) and 'The Bullwinkles' (Frostbite Falls, Minnesota) are all required to wear their "hoodies" backwards
- While having their hoodies up, makes it difficult to see, when in the down position, it makes a handy pouch for holding popcorn.

10) In 2014, a missing woman on a vacation in Iceland was found when it was discovered that she was in the search party looking for herself.... Just one of the many joys of being invisible
- When searching for yourself, it is best to use the buddy system.

SPaceDinVADerOne

you know the subject matter has hit the mark when you have more comments then solves ... & you say there is no "Super Spam" ;o)

jals

I just have one question. Do your neighbors speak to you, or do they sidle away while taking furtive glances at you?

ulangariver

TIM, do you realise that because you're invisible, you haven't got a leg to stand on? And Flamingos only have one, so they're not going to help you out either!

ThomasCat

I would not touch a plastic flamingo (as pictured above) with a ten foot pole. Up here on the frozen tundra, plastic flamingos leave plastic droppings all over the pristine snow. These droppings are bright pink and totally gross. My grandkids who live in the lower 48 want to see a picture of the snow fields so I go out with my trusty Brownie camera and there is the beautiful vast snow covered expanse and....yes....it is covered with smelly bright pink dots. How can you explain this to the kids.....it's disgusting!

junglejim

TIM would they taste like shrimp?

rswestley

You are indeed fortunate, TC. Living in Canada you do not need to fear metal munching mice eating your flamingos, but I, living in a warmer climate must always be on the lookout for those nasty little metal munching mice. I tried using flamingos made of shaving cream, but they disappeared almost instantly in the hot sun. So I went back to plastic flamingos. They last longer and.... I could start shaving again

ThomasCat

I'm trying to be plastic free....so the only flamingos that I consort with are pure metal...no exceptions!

rswestley

I'm not going there mycat... I regret that I have but one leg to give to my Jigidi

rswestley

I got it TC... your "full metal plumage" was in reference to "full metal jacket"? I'm not sure about that, but when these flamingos merge from boot camp, they are trained to remove fingers with three totally different bites

PW, I knew if anyone could find an alternative way to spell "rāndɪəɹ" it would be you :-)

mackabroin

LOL my cat.........that gave me a chuckle....well said!!

I'm so sorry...who would ever think they could have this kind of problem? Do they have a natural predator they will stay away from (like a scarecrow figure?). Have you tried your local critter people? ... Sherry

mycat1

Fowl Votes Matter

rswestley

My budgie got a ballot... so why can't Flamingos vote? Do you suspect there is fowl play afoot?

ParsonWayne

# 1 - I am one of 14% of 'Mericans who can spell reigndere.

racoonstar

@ThomasCat - that should be: full plastic plumage.

ThomasCat

Thank you for that information. As an animal rights person, a small section of my delicate brain has been eased with the knowledge that these flamingos (as pictured) are in their full metal plumage.

rswestley

ThomasCat... I'm not going to get into the politics of "right to choose", but I am proud to say none of the flamingos in my backyard have been denuded.

ThomasCat

I'm just happy to be living in Canada where flamingos don't count in the voting process.

ThomasCat

I agree with PutterDutt...in the inimitable words of the illustrious American president, who is always right...This is a hoax!!! Countless front yards have been denuded of their flamingo statuary in order for this picture to be taken and flaunted on the internet. This is the sort of fake news that is so prevalent and that I find so upsetting!!!!

mycat1

Have you considered eating them? Shoot them out of the tree when hungry. You may be considering mixing them with Spam....Call it Spam-Flam.

mackabroin

I suppose I should commiserate with you......but being way up here in the where it is too cold for them (and us often)......I think this is a novel idea and maybe you could send me just a couple if that would help out......if that is not sensible.....what about taking them to the vet to have them all neutered...LOL....in other words........I have absolutely NO idea!!!!

rswestley

Included with this inspirational puzzle are but a few items from "TIM's Encyclopedia of Useless Information".

1) It is estimated that 86% of Americans cannot spell "raindeer" correctly.

2) After Spam gained international popularity because of its worldwide use during World War II, Hormel wanted to introduce "Super Spam", an improved Spam to the world, but Hormel did not know how to improve the already perfect combination of pig snouts and pig testicles.

3) The U.S. congress has proposed replacing the embarrassing and socially degrading Independence Day holiday with a new and popular pastime. Every 3rd Monday of the month will be recognized as "National Tear Down a Statue Day". In observance of National Tear Down a Statue Day, all residents of the United States will be expected to burn a history book while dressed like one of the 'three blind mice'

4) With the help of a billion dollar grant (billion... with a "B") from congress, investigators conducted countless interviews with canine experts, including Rin Tin Tin, Lassie, Snoopy, Old Yeller (RIP) and Scooby Doo (*). After performing numerous exploratory surgeries and consulting with Ancestry.com, the scientists were able to determine that dachshunds (wiener dogs) are not actually made with wieners
(*) - Toto could not be located for comment. Dorothy, a spokesperson for Toto, says Toto has become a "storm chaser" and is currently in Kansas on assignment

5) "a" is the shortest word in the English language that has all of it's letters in alphabetical order (the letter "i" was disqualified as it comes in two parts, a vertical "l" and topped with a ".")
.
6) "A tablespoon of mayonnaise" contains 12g of total fat, 5mg cholesterol.... and 23 letters

7) According to the New England Aquarium, vending machines are bigger threats to humanity than sharks. , You are twice as likely to be killed by a vending machine than a shark. Discovery Channel will be premiering a new season of "Vending Machine Week" in the spring of 2022

8) More Spam news: By 2003, Spam was sold in 41 countries on six continents and trademarked in over 100 countries excluding the Middle East and parts of North Africa due to Spam being made with pork. In the Middle East, Hormel's attempt to sell "porkless Spam" was not successful (Hormel's "porkless Spam" was actually just an empty can of Spam)

9) Due to the COVID-19 virus, gang members of 'MS-13' (L.A. and NYC), 'The Latin Kings' (Chicago) and 'The Bullwinkles' (Frostbite Falls, Minnesota) are all required to wear their "hoodies" backwards

10) In 2014, a missing woman on a vacation in Iceland was found when it was discovered that she was in the search party looking for herself.... Just one of the many joys of being invisible

(The 10 factoids listed are thought to be true to the best of TIM's knowledge. The only exceptions are the factoids written in English, which are considered to be "doubtful")

nanab

How'd you do that TIM? I don't see any wires or ropes.

djp

I don't know John - have you considered opening a zoo? Perhaps a petting zoo?

nanab

Good one racoon!

PutterDutt

I think they're plastic. Sorry, TIM!

ParsonWayne

They must have calculators from the way the way they are multiplying.

racoonstar

I think this is a problem best solved by WD-40 and a lighter.

rswestley

@morepiecesplz
@nanab
@jals
@Max_Tooney
@msbonne
@ParsonWayne
@djp
@Bubble
@firstdawn
@mackabroin
@manicpuzzler
@sbwilner
@PutterDutt
@robf
@Juba1010
@msbonne
@Fowly
@firstdawn
@hippo
@jals
@jyl
@Mischa95
@racoonstar
@Surreal_Heidi
@SPaceDinVADerOne
@ulangariver
@sbwilner
@Kyrin
@nanapuzzler

and of course my inspirational coach @bevpuzzler8

I do not have the most current list of people I enjoy annoying, so please feel free to fill in the missing blanks

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