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Delivering Mail In Nether-Bonga.......

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Though the barren, isolated region of Nether-Bonga (known as the land without tadpoles) is
uninhabited by human beings (as we know them), nevertheless I invariably have a bag full of letters
addressed to nobody there.......Being a person of high moral principles, I feel it my duty to deliver these 'letters to nobody in particular' - therefore and aft, once a year I make the arduous journey to 'the land where nobody goes'.............
It is a journey fraught with peril, for the one thing that does live there is the fearsome and dreaded
Pterodactylus Bugosisimus, which normally feeds on little rocks, but allegedly prefers the extremely
rare delicacy of small postmen with big ears......
I knew that my only chance of survival was to not turn my back on the ferocious beast......I therefore
made that part of the journey walking backwards, and though I fell over a few times, the predator did
not attack........
These words are written for the benefit of any future small postmen with big ears, who may have to undertake the same journey......
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Comments

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david06520

easy choice

juneshone

you wanna watch that guy, sometimes he beckons but where to? Heaven for the weather or Hell for the company?

david06520

yes eggzactly Junee, that's what he wouldn't have looked like when I didn't used to have not seen him too

juneshone

would he have looked like a monk with a hood if he had been there, I didn't used to see him in our old house

david06520

Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away....

When I came home last night at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn't see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don't you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don't slam the door... (slam!)

(bzzzz)

Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
Oh, how I wish he'd go away

lelabugosi

Whatever you see, write it down, Juneee!................

juneshone

when I was in the Post office I saw a suspicous character posting a letter to Big Bird, it will probably arrive tomorrow

lelabugosi

raincoat-infusion.........I may have committed a grave error yesterday......I was busy in my office, and told my secretary to "let nobody in"! On reflection, I should have said "Don't let anybody in" - Then, at the risk of anybody named Anybody being refused entry, at least Nobody would not have reached me!.....On the other hand, he/she may have been let in......

Juneee.......I make my own stamps............

thousands-of-Gothic-cakes.........Now, why didn't I think of that?.......

Elfie

My friend 101 years old has got neither a computer nor a mobile phone!! - I think it's a good suggestion Joycee!

cakes1947

Why not requisition a new box be installed at the entrance to Nether-Bonga. Then that's where you could drop off or pick up mail without ever having to actually enter. Thanks Lela :)))))
(time, 1:52)

juneshone

people who haven't a computer usually have a mobile phone to send texts surely. I can't remember the last time I bought a postage stamp but it was before the ridiculous charges they make now

Elfie

People who haven't a computer still write snail mail!! - with real stamps on the envelopes!!

juneshone

whatever happened to good old fashioned emails. All I get in my snail mail are bills and junk to fill my bin. don't knock yourself out bring me any more of that

teamac

Lela, I think I would let nobody in particular , resident or occupant of Nether Bonga come in to either claim their mail, or make a formal (not a written) protest about not receiving their mail. Then perhaps a safer arrangement for you and any future mail carriers could be sorted out.
We cannot risk losing you in such a beastly manner.

juneshone

sounds very painful. But whatever it was you said I had a really good night for a change, must have been your good wishes

grannygoatlady

Oh, junee, I didn't mean to imply that you were on your last leg.....so to speak....I just wanted to add a cultural dimension to "good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite".....so to speak.....However, it seems I have been hoisted by my own petard...so to speak............

Elfie

Of course Big Leader you must take care of your job - sorry - I just didn't think about it!! - for a short while....!!

lelabugosi

Hanne, I can't risk returning to Nether-Bonga.......I have my people to think about!.....
pd-thingy......what key?................................Oh yes, that one..........Hee-Hee!

pdevredis

Since I was obviously not able to remember that there was a mailbox there, I'm sure that I'll have no trouble at all forgetting what you did with that key.............

Elfie

Couldn't you just take a look and see if your letters are those comments?? Just a tiny peek?

lelabugosi

Juneee....glad to see that you are still in the land of the living!......
Hanne-pipe-somewhere.........Yes, somebody-nobody is stealing letters AND comments.......we must be on our guard......

Elfie

I'm very glad to hear that you have thrown a key to the poor lonely birdie - I do hope that she'll be able to open the box!! And excuse me for my notbeingabletorecognizemyownwritings. Actually it looked as if it had disappeared, so many comments disappear nowadays, I don't know what thieves want with them - if they store themsomehow!! Perhaps they are the letters you in the sweat of your poor face try to deliver to the bird - or - somebody - nobody - anybody - body!!

juneshone

Dear Granny Goat thank you for your sweet wishes, but I'm not dead yet as Hamlet was when Horatio uttered those lines:) the only flights involved in my rest are the stairs

juneshone

Dear Gem Noggin and Dogdaze are too busy sniffing out another dastardly villain who has threatened to punch my dear little furry friend. All I can say is 'Come on punk, make his day' that pitchfork has a long handle and can be thrown in the manner of a javelin.

lelabugosi

pd-whateveryoumaybecalled..........If you cast your mind back to a previous comment, you will see that I commented (in that comment) on how "my predecessor postman installed a mailbox here, just in case anyone was ever expecting mail"..........That box therefore belongs to the Bonga-Bonga Postal Service (B.O.B.O.P.S.)..........Though I feel you could be right about the creature desiring mail - perhaps even more than it desires little postmen with big ears.......Because of this, I have now thrown the beast a key to the mailbox, in the hope that it can retrieve the letters - (whoever they may or may not be intended for).....
As this step is totally against B.O.B.O.P.S. policy, I entreat you to not breathe a word to the head of the postal service, i.e. yours truly, as I would be forced to take action and sack myself.......

Plumpy, thank you for that little nugget of wisdom........

Plumpossum

A Fiend in need is a Fiend indeed.

pdevredis

Lela, have you tried to deliver the mail to the bird?? No, wait, new question time!!!--if you won't deliver to the bird because it has no mailbox, and this area is, as you say, uninhabited by human beings, then who owns the mailboxes you're delivering to? Because it really sounds as if there aren't any mailboxes there at all, whether belonging to the bird, or not belonging to the bid, or belonging or not belonging to the non-existent people, or anyone or everyone, world without end, amen......wait, where was I? Oh, and so your argument about not delivering to the bird because it has no mailbox doesn't hold water, or mail....

lelabugosi

Hanne-with-pipe-somewhere.........you've already asked me, and I've answered below......try and keep up now, Hee-Hee!!............

Elfie

Lela, have you tried to deliver the mail to the bird?? Perhaps it's a friend of hers who write her letters in her lonliness!!

patsquire

OY! Duly warned, I ventured forth, lelabug, and thank you! Hmmphhhh! As I said over there, nuthin' a GOOD THUMP ON THE NOGGIN wouldn't take care of, lickety-split.

lelabugosi

Mr.Le-Squirt.......I feel obliged to direct your attention to this, if you haven't already seen it.......
http://www.jigidi.com/puzzle.php?id=B7FVYL3S

twoclubs

I still miss his pink trike.

patsquire

Not I, gemmy, lelabug, et al. Never guilty, nope, uh-uh, not me.

I'm Mr. Pure, Mr. Clean, Mr. Notguilty, the fellow in the Innocent box, the guy you can trust ALWAYS to do the right thing. Yep, that's me.

N O T G U I L T Y S Q U I R E.

There are those Bugosilanders who, while certainly integral parts of our community, welcome and accepted, may not have been habitués long enough to be aware that my ICON IDENTITY, that is to say my ICON FATE, is in the exclusive hands of O C T O M O M !!!!!!!! There's no explaining why, it's just the way it is. It's part of my lot, my fate (our divorce settlement). Don't cry for me, Argentina (or Bugosiland). You may wish to shudder with me from time to time, as I contemplate the cruel fate which has made life be just this way for me, but I ask no more.

lelabugosi

No, Hanne-with-hidden-pipe...........The bird has no mailbox, and I cannot just give letters away without being sure they are going to the right place......we have rules, you see........

Elfie

Have you tried to deliver the mail to the bird?? Perhaps it's a friend of hers who writes them for her in her loneliness!!

lelabugosi

Yes, "a hat over a hat"....... that seems like a good idea to think about.......
precious-pebble....Mr.Le-Squirt is obviously GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS!.........And if he has an accomplice, then I would suggest that it may or may not be "A.FRIEND", though I find that hard to believe, since he has never known a friend in all his very long life.......

gemstone

psquirt...doesn't your statement resonate with the words of another infamous villain? I am not a crook.

twoclubs

I miss his pink trike.

gemstone

Is this THE very same "A. Friend" who sent all those lies about david-many-numbers...getting all the ladies' hopes up with having a billionaire in our midst? Well is it? Boy, wait 'til I get my hands (both the left and the right) around his throat. He certainly won't be posting any more letters to Nether-Bonga! Wake up, juneeeee, we need you and dogdaze (and noggin if he's so inclined) to sniff out this dastardly villain who is endangering the life of our Best Beloved!

I just noted an "I'M GUILTY" avatar below...is psquirt admitting to being the dastardly villain? Wouldn't surprise me in the least! However, with so many letters to be delivered he must have help. Is he really the Mr. Big of the operation or just a fall guy (even though that isn't too great a distance from his little pink bike)?

belaminx

Pipe down M'sieur PSquash, I can't hear M'sieur Bugosi think..

M'sieur Bugosi, my suggestion is to put another hat on top of the hat and thereby temporarily cover both sets of ears the better to deliver the mail and escape to deliver the mail on other days - that way you would not be doing those awful things to poor Ms. Duty :)

patsquire

HEY! What happened to my icon?????? OY, octomom, what'd I do this time? I knew it, that you always felt like this though you'd never actually come out and say anything directly. You NEVER stood by me in trying times, when accusations were flying and I was as innocent as the driven snow. I remember times when I could barely even talk you into posting my bail!

But now this? Guilty? I am not guilty!

YOU HEAR ME BUGOSILANDERS? I . . . . AM . . . . NOT . . . . GUILTY ! ! ! ! !

(P.S. What's the charge anyway?)

lelabugosi

But pretty-vixen, if I removed my hat, then the beastly beast would be attracted by my very attractive pointy ears.......would it not?........Plus, which furthermore - the removal of my hat whilst on duty would be a dereliction of duty, and I would be duty bound (being on duty) to dutifully fine myself and pay the fine to myself.......In so doing, I could be sacked (a postal term) by my boss......who is me.....for accepting a bribe........

belaminx

and what sort of hats they wear..

patsquire

Makes me wonder who delivers the mail in Disneyland.............hmmmmm?

belaminx

Perhaps if small postmen took off their mickey mouse hats, the ears may not seem quite so ravishing to the poor Pterodactylus Bugosisimus, who I believe, is listed as one of the world's most rare and endangered species. I wonder if postmen wearing mickey mouse hats are listed as rare and endangered? I imagine they ought to be..especially when delivering mail to Nether-Bonga..

lelabugosi

The thing is, uncle Bluebottle wouldn't come out alive because, being in his chairycopter, he wouldn't be able to walk backwards..........
Many years ago, my predecessor postman installed a mailbox here, just in case anyone was ever expecting mail..........needless to say, that was the last we ever heard of him........and of course nobody lives here anyway, but I make sure I deposit my mail in this box - which is now pretty.....well, very full............
And Kaleidoboy hides whenever he hears mention of the place........
(Hellooee gal-numbers!).............

grannygoatlady

To paraphrase...Good night sweet junee, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.....

gal61

Glad to see the mail is finally being delivered....

juneshone

Oh please don't tell my Editor he will send me out there to sort it out. I'm off to bed, too much worry for my little brain

grannygoatlady

While I must applaud on the one hand (and one-hand applauding is quite difficult, as you may well guess) your Dedicated Dedication to Duty.....I must on the other hand (the one which is not busily applauding one-handed-ly) wonder at the advisability of your Exceptional Estimable Endeavors.....
Could Uncle BB, in his chairy-copter, not fly them over and drop them as he flew?....Letting them waft in the wind merrily there-by arriving at nobody's address in good time..........

lelabugosi

Now there's a thought I never thought of.......There is never a return address.....just "From - A.FRIEND".......

juneshone

your are so brave, or so misguided! how far into the backside of the country do you go, how do you know when to stop looking and go home. Do you crave adventure so much you have to invent it and where is Paddy? Why don't you take Kaleidoboy with you he could keep the hen thingy busy while you look for bells to ring or has even he drawn the line at the Nether Regions? Quick Jock, Snowy the boss is in trouble.

pdevredis

Have you never wondered what evil, wicked, cruel, and unscrupulous person keeps taking advantage of your moral rightitude and steadfast work-ethicalism by writing all those letters to no one, thereby deliberately sending you on this perilous journey? A Barloff, perchance, perhaps, maybe?

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