Bugosi Tadpolium Institute.....

Can I have a degree for free?

Mmmm ... popcorn .. mmmm

Mr.Le-Squirt....."Patty"......I shall try and get you one.......
More popcorn, anyone?.......

got a couple similar somewhere in the dark cupboard under the stairs. Business Management, they say. Somehow after all of the hard work I found them a poor return

Gee, you know the more I look at this diploma the more I think, wouldn't it be nice to have such a beautiful certificate to hang on my wall, with my name on it in fancy letters, and a seal, and signatures and everything. I've sort of always wanted one, but I always knew that kind of thing would be out of my reach, what with dropping out of high school in the tenth grade and going to jail and all. I sort of wish I hadn't gotten involved with those guys I was hanging out with, but it was so much fun robbing people's houses and stealing cars. Still, I was the only one who got caught, and by that time I was over 18, so when the judge said those awful words, "One year in the County Jail." any hopes I might have had for a good education went right out the window.

Too bad. That's a really spiffy diploma.

WHAT? I couldn't hear you over the crunching...........

Mmmm ... popcorn .. mmmm

I'm afraid he's got us AGAIN!

Usually his skirting around, evading and obfuscating is of such a low and worthless nature that we could overcome it in court. But today he has offered us POPCORN! Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, I just love POPCORN! Mmmmmmmmm POPCORN! So I'm afraid he has hit the perfect escape button (probably by accident) but who cares? IT'S POPCORN!!!

I just searched for it - to be present isn't the same as to be presentS...actually the expression isn't acceptable according to dictionaries....

Oooh, psquirt...does this count as fraudulent advertising by Mr. B.A.D.A.S.S.? It definitely says "presentS"...plural...just wondering...do we have a case here?

I am no longer present, I have gone to bed

Not in this case - it means all those here (present).........anyway, precious-pebble will just have to make do with some popcorn!.....

Presents and gifts?? My dictionary says that it's the same....

Hee-hee!.....

Oh, that!.......It is Olde English, and means "To all to whom those present (myself, Dr.Adonis and uncle Bluebottle) shall come (those whom we visit)" and is simply announcing this memorable event......
So there!.......
Have some popcorn instead........

It distinctly says on the very first line...and I quote, "To all to whom these presents shall come..." Well, WE ALL want our presents!!! And if we don't get them we simply have to say to psquirt, "The Word!" I know psquirt expects his 40% cut but then 60% is better than nothing...especially if the presents are something reeeeeaaaaally good!

Yes, Mr.biscuit - they come in packs of ten........

Can I purchase one B.A.D.A.S.S. poster at Rogers store?

plus, he lurks around toilets most of the time so he might as well do something useful maybe he could get some kind of employment in the Gents section and KEEP OUT OF THE LADIES!!!!!

Glad to see you normal again Juneeee - how relieving...

Hellooee, everybodeee!
I'm so glad that boy now has something worthwhile to do.........it keeps him out of mischief.....and out of my house......

When anyone needs toilet paper, just shout, as I am here all day today!

What presents??!!........I do not recall any promise of presents!.........I am now present, if that helps at all........
The little "c" is a Bonga-Bongan express way of expressing expressive expressions (exponientially, of course).........
As daddytusks so accurately puts it "I see no intimation of duplicity or deception by Mr. Bugosi".......

Juneee.....the honors, rights and privileges that I have earned are many and multitudinous.....and secret........

what exactly are the honors, rights and privileges that you have earned. And who put Horrible Henry in charge of the toilet roll cupboard?

See I am completely back to normal, all vestiges of memory of my time in the DOLL house were erased when I said the magic word, whatever it was. I now have an aversion to all kinds of cakes.

Lelabug I'm shocked, shocked I say! All I do is offer my unsolicited translatutory services, and in return I get "Tu est insaniatis completus."

WELL! And WELL! again! This is the most thunderous disrespect! Even that old guy with the tusks agrees that my translatutory services were rendered fairly and accurately. HUMPH!!!

Now, moving on, precious pebble wants her presents, and I say a promise is a promise. You better send her something before she.......before she.........wait a minute..........a thought is coming........AHA! Before she RETAINS ME, her favorite at-law and 40%er and sues you for.....for.....for Breach of Promise! Yeah, that's it! Breach of Promise.

HA-HA, gemmy just say the word and we'll be in court in a matter of hours!

Does "little c" on "cOMPLETELY INSANE" signify anything? And where are my presents...come on, ante up...and nothing from Roger's sleazy emporium!

WELL!........Such bastardization of the Latin language was certainly not needed here! (and I use the "zee" solely for the understanding of our neighbors across the pond)...(I omit the "u" in Neighbours for the same reason).....
Mr.Le-Squirtz......You have tried to make a mountain out of a molehill.....you have attempted to squeeze a lemon dry.....you have intimated, in an intimate way, that I have somehow contrived to deceive my followers........
I would just like to say, quoting the Latin " Tu est insaniatis completus" - which means that you are cOMPLETELY INSANE!.....
I rest my case for the evening....morning.....whatever......HMPH!

There is a clue in this document to the meaning of B.A.D.A.S.S. We see here the word "Tadpolium" which is clearly Latin, meaning either tadpole or a new kind of floor covering for kitchens and bathrooms.

Therefore, Q.E.D., and in consequence of this clue AND the general use of Latin in diplomas worldwide, we see that B.A.D.A.S.S. is acronymically short for something Latin. I, in my extensive lifetime of higher education, have naturally studied my Latin, so I can AND WILL lend my (very much appreciated) assistance in not only LENGTHIFYING the acronym but also TRANSLATING IT from the Latin for the benefit of those who are ignorant and uneducated. (I mean, of course, only the occasional visitors to Bugosiland, not the regular habitués who are the smartest bunch of bananas in all of Jigidi.)

The lengthified wording of B.A.D.A.S.S. is as follows:

Bugosius Abbrevitus Dignitarium Amoratius Sexualii Sinistrus

The translation into English is as follows:

Distinguished Graduate of the Bugosi Short Course in Left-handed Sexual Love

I know, it looks like it’s something evil because of that last Latin word, but all it really means is lefty (although James Bond never trusted left-handed people).

SO, THEREFORE AND RESULTINGLYWISE is this much of a diploma? Well nowhere on it do the words “Summa Cum Laude” or “Magna Cum Laude” or even just “Cum Laude” appear, so we know that lelabug is a graduate of no distinction. Also, he only took the Short Course, not the full curriculum of instruction. In other words, the lazy man’s approach to education. And this must be why he only qualified in the left-handed techniques of lovemaking. One might have thought he would AT LEAST want to be ambidextrous (AT LEAST). Or, like me, skilled at the Whole Body approach which I employ when you ladies call me at my toll-free number 1-800-555-getlucky!

The fact (which has been so wisely observed below) that this diploma in undated is of LITTLE CONSEQUENCE since the “gold seal” which is probably just aluminum foil colored with a Magic Marker states that this Institute was founded quite recently, in 2011. So it’s not as if lelabug earned this diploma as a young man. Rather he was obviously late in life, in his dotage, his latter years, his old age!

I hope my translatutory services have been helpful and that you all appreciate the effort!

I ditto Tom Minus'sssss question...but even more importantly, I'd like to known what presents I get and when...

Eeek...you little pervert...get out of here! Juneeeee..

Isn't it?? ohh what a pity.....

old-furniture-chomping-madam.......Higher education from the Tadpolium Institute prepare you for a roller-coaster life full of joys and misfortunes, loves and losses, ups and downs, ins and outs, highs and lows, happiness and heartache, dreams and nightmares, proposals and rejections, and much, much more........I hope I have explained myself........
As for Master Henry, it is a task which he can fulfill adequately......
Hanne-with-pipe....PLEASE PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!...........This is not a Dickensian melodrama.....
Mr.Biscuit......I just made it....found it......dug it out of my archives........

What does B.A.D.A.S.S. stand for?

I still don't see a date on it.... is the ink dry?

ALAS - what have they done to you?? What HAVE they DONE to you... oh dear, oh dear....

Ohh Juneee please become normal again - will you sweetieeeee - for Kaleidoboy's sake..... if for nothing else....

And why is Master Henry delivering toilet tissue to the women's restroom/loo.....Does his perversions know no boundaries...........

Yes.....but for what.....besides delivering the mail which anyone with two feet and a good map can do...does higher education from the Tadpolium Institute prepare you???............

Why, thank you, Clawnsew and Manfromdownunder.........I am glad SOME people appreciate the honour and value attached to such an important document......
precious-pebble......Master Henry is in charge of toilet tissues - he will be along in a minute....
Mr.Biscuit......It is made from sustainable tadpole secretions and resin ......
Juneee.....you are forgiven........

Well done fella, a wonderful achievement for such a person like you...

Hey...there's no toilet tissue in the Ladies...anyone have a spare catalogue...or certificate?

As I scan across this marvellous document looking for some sort of date, it comes into my mind, I hope they didn't cut down a tree to make this. I ponder aloud some more, I expect not, they most likely made it from cotton fiber, you know from soiled under pants and such, how fitting...

Oh sorry, I wiped the crumbs off with my sleeve, it looks sort of clean now. Wish I had a sustificit for sumthing

No, no. nooooooo - this is NOT a tray!.......It is to be hung on the wall, as an example to the world......
(just as Mr.Le-Squirt should be).....
As to whether it is a necessary qualification for a mailman, let's just say that it earns a lot of respect in the postal community......

thank you for my tray, such a pretty blue, I'll try not to make crumbs Momma............

Oh there it is...your smarty party placemat...I was looking for it to put the little cakes upon for Juneee. Diplomas come in handy for keeping crumbs off the floor, under the rug is Old School. And I see The Tadpolium was no ordinary community college but rather a fine institution no doubt harboring nefarious slugs trying to worm their way into Bugosiland and learning all about the inner workings of the consortium. Shame on them. They are everywhere. The Mail must be delivered. And yes, who better than the educated Lela to this work.

It really is such an impressive degree with a lovely gold seal.....making you a bona fide badass...is this the necessary qualification to be a mailman in Bonga-Bonga?

anybody got a morsel of angel cake to spare?.............

What do you mean?......Juneee is simply attending the party at the D.O.L.L.S.........She can leave when she wants to, but I think she is having too much fun, as it is so lively there........

SERIOUS - OMG when I think of what you nearly did to Juneeeee......