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Uncle Lela's Fascinating Facts.....

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As negotiations with Dr.Egg and Dr.Egg, regarding the "Who stole Big Ben?" case are still going on....
indeed, still ongoing, I take this opportunity to present some extremely interesting facts for doughnut-lovers worldwide......
It has been noted by eminent Bugosians that over the years, the size of the doughnut hole has diminished considerably - a phenomenon which we can only put down to global warming.......Doughnuts, sharing a simbiotic relationship with our planet, are warming considerably and expanding (as are our children)
- to such an extent that their holes are diminishing in accordance with the law of cause and effect,
represented by the equation %$*#=5666680x2, where $ = the hole......
Please join us in meditation as we concentrate on the restoration of our holes........ommmmmmmmmmm......
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Comments

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petslave

I don't think it would have fur on it hanne. It would tickle Robbie's throat. Don't you think so? I bet he has chocolate bunny ears. They are usually hairless. But hoisin sauce and chili!? ewwwww! [giggling unashamedly and quite stupidly also, because I do look rather stupid when I giggle]

Elfie

Robbie I would SO much like to know - with or without fur????

JM_Cookie

I am having a Chocolate Easter Egg Hunt over at my place, come on over and have a look around...

lelabugosi

ENOUGH!......We will have no more talk like that, you round, roguish, rascally, rapscallion!.......HMPH!............................................and TSK!............

Robbiel

Rabbit ears are delicious with a little hoisin sauce and chili!!!!............

juneshone

well, in my case, no

patsquire

Twice a month I have to pay bills, Plummy. And golf. There's golf. Other than that....................

Plumpossum

There is a life other than Jigidi???

lelabugosi

Toodle-doodle-pip!..........

petslave

Be careful your mind doesn't wander off too far. A mind like yours would be a terrible thing to lose. Speaking of wandering . . I am about to wander off away from the computer and puzzles. I must attend to other things in my life, why? No idea. But I think I'm suppose to have a life other than Jigidi and Bonga Bonga land. Toddling off, toodle do pip pip and whatever. Good night.

lelabugosi

I wouldn't have minded but Mrs.B was minding her own business, so I was completely out of her mind - and being alone so long my mind began to wander......and wander......

petslave

Awwww. Lela, Those Bonga Bonga orphans are so sweet. I know they missed you and wanted you to stay around a little longer. Or, maybe they didn't want another child put in a head lock by a mouse impersonator? Never know what goes on in the child of a mind, I mean the mind of a child. Or a childish mind. never mind . . .

lelabugosi

I'm so glad you clarified that, Juneee!........

juneshone

Easter greetings to one and all, I have eaten the ears from my rabbit so that's a good start.........er my chocolate rabbit that is

lelabugosi

Easter greetings tomorrow....too busy today, entertaining the poor orphans of Bonga-Bonga.......they tied me up and left me all afternoon......

patsquire

I just keep 'em in the fridge.

Robbiel

ALWAYS FRESH............For sure June!!!..............The fish had a doughnut feast the day after!!........The Kiskadee birds enjoyed the holes!............

juneshone

I don't know a lot about the delicacy, but surely with all that fat, donuts should be eaten fresh. Sling the old ones out Mr S..........

patsquire

Funny you should mention that Tom-minus. Still fully in my Research Mode, I stopped BACK INTO the Dunkin' Donuts to pick up ANOTHER sample, just a little one, two units of doughnutivity to be exact, EVEN THOUGH I still had most of the previous sample still in my kitchen! No mountain too wide, no river too high, no tone unsturned when I'm in Research Mode! (At least when it's such an important subject as this!)

ThomasCat

Well lela I do hope you send me some Easter Greetings....I need a diversion from the lack of doughnut holes in my diet....☹

Elfie

And pigeons - and the weather - and what's on TV - and ............... and............... and.........

lelabugosi

I may be posting Easter Greetings tomorrow!....Or not, of course, as may or may not be.....depending on circumstances .....and stuff......and things.......

grannygoatlady

As my taxes are now filed and the monies remitted....For any who care...and for all who "frankly, don't give a damn" to quote Bhett Rutler...."I shall return:...to quote General Arthur MacDouglas....sometime tomorrow.....or maybe later....or not.....

I have missed the nonsense.....and need a HUGE dose to restore my sanity..............

juneshone

just in time........................TIME FOR BED Said Zebedee. Night All

lelabugosi

BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!.......................(said Zebedee)...........

juneshone

but hopefully doing very well, that's the thing about frogs they boing from one thing to another

Trouble_and_Frog

Hmmm . . . good thinking June . . . I'm still recovering from my last little 'trip' . . . ;-)

juneshone

Hi Trouble, feeling like jumping over ponds, great stuff, but do be careful of those short holidays............

Trouble_and_Frog

I managed to escape though . . . hee-hee . . . might jump over to that lily pond myself for a short holiday . . . toodle pip . . . :-)

lelabugosi

mascot-in-bondage.......I have counted our tadpoles, and by all accounts all are accounted for......thank you for your concern.....

petslave

See? http://www.jigidi.com/puzzle.php?id=UCC1JPN2 Total fabrication I'm sure. Since HONEST is in the caption, right away gives me pause. [giggling gleefully]

petslave

Lela, glad you liked my "Happy Frogs" puzzles. But I would worry about the "so called" Water lily puzzle by HooknStitch. I think it's a lie, and AND I think they eat tad poles. I would take stock of your stock. Just sayin'. - Ada

patsquire

And as we know from your earlier avatar, you still have incredible flexibility in those legs! Church Lady herself must be envious.

sweetlittleoldgranny

Hellooee everybodeee!
When unclebluebottle was a child (and not anybody's uncle), he would get me to sit on the ground with my legs up in the air, while he threw doughnut-quoits at my feet.........his top score was 90, 45 round each leg, and I'll never forget that day, as he left me sitting in a field for 5 hours - unable to move......
What fun!.......

ThomasCat

Oh dear me..... I get indigestion just thinking of masses of doughnuts in a massive hardware store.....all mixed in with the nails and screws.....burp.....

patsquire

Humph! 1927 vintage large-hole donuts, stored in unclebluebottle's hardware warehouse since I don't know when. (Don't I? Didn't I just say 1927? SMACK! What's the matter with me?) (Don't answer that!) They might be OK for playing a game of quoits BUT NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION, OR "EATING!"

(Anybody remember quoits? It's like horseshoes, but with rings. We used to play it as kids in Pennsylvania. Antiquated as it is, I bet it's still all the rage in Bonga-Bonga.)

Plumpossum

I think I'll hole up for the whole duration.

lelabugosi

Well, I am glad to see our massive efforts to educate the masses about the doughnut-hole problem are not falling on deaf ears.......As to the shortage, unclebluebottle has masses of large-hole doughnuts, stored at his massive hardware store in Nether-Farther-Bonga, so FEAR NOT, faithful followers of all matters Bugosii!.......
And I must say (though it pains me) "Well done, Mr.Le-Squirt for your altruistic research!".......

patsquire

Oh my, sloughs of despair are bad. Maybe the Robster can send you his recipe and you can make an emergency supply of your own. Heck, you might even be able to go into business, if the demand is high and the supply is nil.

HEY! WE GET THE BBC NEWS HERE! I BETTER **zoom** ON DOWN TO MY DD STORE AND CHECK WHETHER MY OWN SUPPLY IS SECURE!

ThomasCat

Well, here's the mess we're in now....apparently last night on the BBC (Bonga-Bonga Corporation) Channel the top story was the donut hole crisis.....today I went to my local donut hole shop to get my weekly supply and was told they were SOLD-OUT.....after the BBC story, people are now afraid of a world-wide shortage and are stockpiling them in their unused air raid shelters.....the shop owner said he did not know when another shipment (if ever!!) would be in.....I am in a slough of despair........

Robbiel

Ahhhhhh well done Squire, wish I could join you at Dunkin's!!

patsquire

STATUS REPORT : RESEARCH IN FULL SWING.

I made it to the Dunkin' Donuts last night and established a resupply. Oddly enough I located, purchased and ate primo examples of the above chart's center and right donut hole sizes. None of the leftmost on the above chart, but you wouldn't think the center illustration would be available out there in the donut world either BUT IT IS!

This seems certain to require further research! YIPPPPEEEEEEE!

Elfie

Indeed I'm inclined to agree with you gemmie....

gemstone

Bolderdash! Roger's motto is always: What's in it for me? Money? Fame? Glory? A little hanky panky? A lot of hanky panky? Whole doughnut holes? Roger is a total, a "whole" wastrel!

lelabugosi

But...but...Uncle Roger is trying to save the world!.......

gemstone

I, myself, hope Roger loses everything and daren't show his face around Bonga Bonga ever again! As he's not a blue-faced Scot, I hope the Doctors Egg take his freedom, too!

lelabugosi

I really don't know why everyone jokes about such a serious subject, and Hanne-with-pipe, by spitting out the holes you are missing the best part........
Star-muncher........I believe you to be completely insane.....(just sayin')......
Roundy........Uncle Roger informs me that he is playing cards with Doc Egg and Doc Egg.......

Elfie

Why not Robbie - do we miss them?? Really???

Robbiel

Hahaha, the laughs keep on coming back.......and so does the Star!!!.......Holes are in the air now via UPS.........no tracking numbers cause there's nothing to track!

Meanwhile Lela I hope Doc Egg and Doc Egg will not be holding things up too much longer!!

cakes1947

LOL Hanne, that was perfect!!! LOL

juneshone

when will my holes arrive please, Oh don't tell me you sent them by carrier pigeon again, the blighters will have eaten them

Plumpossum

Hanne, have you considered doing stand-up comedy?

Elfie

I like them without holes too, it's so frustrating to spit them out all the time.....

patsquire

Yes lela, I admit that the 1948 doughnut looks ideal to me.

But then there are many people, scientists and laymen alike, who argue IN FAVOR of global warming, aren't there? And this would be one of the ways they bolster their argument. After all, less hole, more donut, as has already been said here.

Anyway, ahhhhhhh donuts, mmmmmmmmmmmmm...........

lelabugosi

Well, a fish bowl then!.........

gemstone

That isn't nearly large enough to be MY wine glass!

lelabugosi

"Make the hole with a thimble"!!.......That would be a 1948 doughnut!........A wine glass is what should be used, as per the 1927 model.............

patsquire

Well, gemeeee, it might have something to do with it, I confess! In fact, I'm facing an emergency crisis right now. In my RESEARCH last night I consumed (for scientific purposes) my last two doughnuts! Not that I ALWAYS have them on hand, but what with the ongoing controversial donut hole controversy, just now they're on my mind. So I feel the need for a quick run (i.e. drive) down to the Dunkin' Donuts store. Yes I do!

Robster, I envy your facility in the kitchen. Homemade doughnuts! I can only dream!

Robbiel

Hee hee hee everybody, that sounds cool Squire, never thought of a thimble! We used a wineglass and martini glass for the big ones, a liqueur glass and shot glass for the holes........I told my helper if any welfare person saw us they would reprimand me or worse! Pushing down on delicate glass not the smartest thing to do.........But I am not used to kids around me........and definitely not smart!!

gemstone

Perhaps that's why you're a little too big for your bike, psquirt???

patsquire

Robster, we used to make doughnuts when I was a kid. My mother called them "fry cakes" and after she rolled out the dough I'd cut the doughnuts with a cookie cutter. Then, the most fun, I'd make the hole with a thimble and eat the dough I removed raw - - - delicious!

ThomasCat

Robbie....your experimental research has enormous value for the chefs of the world....I'm sure National Geographic will be on your doorstep soon to cover your earth-shattering discovery on doughnuts, their holes, and their impact on the younger generation....you are a true scientist....stepping in so quickly on this major crisis of which we knew nothing.....etc.etc.

juneshone

well, if I must have donuts I would prefer the long sausage shaped ones, no worries about where to bite it just start at the beginning and go on to the end

lelabugosi

Oh dear......now everyone's leaning towards smaller holes!........Not good.....not good....murmur....mutter.....mumble......

Robbiel

Well I can now tell you that our research has turned up some amazing facts! First of all if you check my last puzzle you will notice that the shapes were messed up a bit..........Lela changed the formula halfway through!!!.........However they do taste delicious!! We found that more hole = less doughnut...........conversely more doughnut = less hole!! Also the bigger the hole, the more cooking time! The smaller holes take less cooking time!
Important tip..........If you make these with a youngster be prepared for flour, sugar and water to fly around the kitchen!! I did learn some Hebrew words........but I forgot every one of them!!

Thanks Lela and co. for the fun both on and off the puzzle!

gemstone

P.S. I actually don't mind the doughnut becoming whole...minus the hole...'cause then the raspberry jelly doesn't drip all over me!

Elfie

Ohh UNHAPPINESS!! We have NOT doughnuts at all - but something called Berliners instead - round buns made of the same kind of dough but filled with custard or jam....

lelabugosi

All I can say is....GOOD LUCK!.......

Robbiel

The dough has risen and the holes and doughnuts cut to spec, waiting for second rise and then frying..........(Not a good idea with a 14 year old........but Jenny left us together!!)...........BANG!!!!!!

juneshone

it'll be the donut eaters who go BANG!! one day

JM_Cookie

Nomm nomm nommm... research is goood ... nomm nomm nomm

lelabugosi

JUST OPEN ALL DOORS AND WINDOWS!....And get ready to......RUNNNNNNNNNN!!

Robbiel

UH OHHHHHH!!!!.........What will happen to my doughnuts now!!!...........The dough is rising, Dyl is still sleeping and NOW YOU TELL ME THE EQUATION IS WRONG????!!!!!...........This is simply not cricket Lela!!...........Horror of horrors...........In fact Dyl just woke up to my $#@^&*( and more #$%^&*s..........I just hope our research works later!

lelabugosi

URGENT MESSAGE!
There has been some mistake with the all-important equation.......it should read "5x0899992=#*$% squired".....I was looking at unclebluebottles writing upside-down, in a mirror - I am very surprised nobody noticed the glaring error!.....

As to the chart stopping at 1948 - that was the climactic year of hole reduction, so it is symbolic, really.....sort of......
KEEP UP WITH THE RESEARCH, WE MUST BRING BACK THE HOLE IN HOLEY WEEK!!

Robbiel

OK the yeast is foaming, the ingredients are ready, only one small problem, I don't have enough regular milk so I substituted goat milk which I bought on the weekend. Not much different from the cow's only the cream is nice and rich. I am using butter instead of shortening/lard so the equation could read 90 at the end instead of 80..........Is this ok Lela/Squire and other officials?!.........GOOD.......that's the way it is!........Our guest is still sleeping so maybe he will help to make the holes!!

Robbiel

I would love to join in the research, but sadly no doughnut shop nearby...........maybe I'll try making some, I am looking after a 14 year old boy this morning while Jenny is working, he has to do homework..........why not some serious research!!!...........What a good idea, we can try the "%$*#=5666680 squired!!"............I'm sure his teacher will be impressed!!

juneshone

this is one assessment I won't be joining in, you are what you eat donut boy

patsquire

Or more properly "%$*#=5666680 squired".

octomom

Hmmmm, Octom-ommmmmmmmmmmmmm (sadly, now Quadromom) is wondering if your equation "%$*#=5666680x2" shouldn't have said "%$*#=5666680 squared".

patsquire

Tom-minus and Cookiedog, you are geniuses, geniusae, geniusi, smart! We ALL have to pitch in on this vital research. I myself will trek down to the Dunkin' Donuts store on Monday and pick up an assortment. Luckily DD doesn't call their apple-filled cinnamon donuts "Fritters" so the dibs doesn't stand in my way!

RESEARCH! It's the KEY to PROGRESS on the DONUT HOLE DILEMMA!

JM_Cookie

I think we all need to do some emergency research. Every one will need to purchase and consume at least a dozen doughnuts of an assortment of varieties and report back with the results asap.
Ommmmmmmmmm......
Oh, dibs on the Apple Fritter... ommmmm

petslave

Now I have to wait till morning when my grocery opens to get a box of Crispy Creme glazed! I will be dreaming about them all night! Shame on you, shame on all of you for putting the idea into my head!! Hole or no holes, I will eat the whole thing. [ btw, a "no hole" donut is a whole donut] just sayin'

ThomasCat

Uncle Lela you have definitely stirred up a great hue and cry, or cry and hue but.........why does this information stop at the year 1948....where...I say...where do we stand on this world-wide crisis today???...have the holes now completely disappeared....is there no self-respecting donut with a hole to be found in this year of 2014???....we need answers....

lelabugosi

Well, bookie-person - if it is a secret, then we can donuttin' about it.........
Welcome back, double-batter!!......Glad to see you have seen the light, after your scenic tour of the bowels (so to speak) of a doughnut!.......

twoclubs

Spluttt...spew...ick...what? ommmmmm? OMG I have been in the black hole for almost a year...so that was a donut? Huh? a dough nut? I could have eaten my way out of that hole. Thank all BugosiLand for me Lela. I have been lost but now I am found. Amen!

bookish

Absolutely fascinating. Perhaps the reason is a secret, on a knead to know basis.

lelabugosi

Plumpy....I would imagine they were the first to notice the missing holes, but I shall inform them nevertheless......I shall also inform the nuns of Our Lady Of The Tadpole Convent (I believe they're still in Hawaii), as this is....wait for it.....A Holey War!............

Plumpossum

Have the world's constabularies, who subsist on whole holes and the donuts that wholly surround them, been made aware of this unwholy situation? Red alert! Red alert!!!

lelabugosi

Mr.Le-Squirt.....I must admit to having a certain degree of admiration for your ability to comprehend the enormous significance of that equation........admiration and shock......well, mostly shock really......
precious-pebble......We are talking pre-1927 whole....or holes......the doughy part should be roughly 0.100000622222 of a millimetre thick.......

patsquire

Precious pebble, my tummy doesn't care about the hole! My tummy wants the doughnut!

gemstone

Now, is a "whole hole" ALL hole...in which case how do you find the hole????? Or is a "whole hole" one that has been entirely filled in thus making it whole????? Or does a hole have to have an edge thus not making it a whole hole????

patsquire

VelIlltellya, you were gettin' a big fat argument out of me.......out of me.......um, I'm hungry. Gotta go have a couple of doughnuts. NO! I'll finish this first and then go have a couple. Yeah. OK! SO! You were gettin'...... jeez, I already said that. IT'S NO FAIR PUTTIN' A PICTURE OF DOUGHNUTS IN THE PUZZLES! OK? NO FAIR!

Anyway.........argument out of me until I got to your equation %$*#=5666680x2 which arrested my attention and which I find absolutely fascinating, absorbing and consciousness-seizing! What a mind, what genius, what insight! To be able to boil the whole problem of global warming's effects on donut hole size down into a single equation! I bare my head and genuflect to you lelabug (unless you stole the idea from somebody else, which is always a distinct possibility). Ommmmmmmmmmm.......

lelabugosi

Tom-minus......you are setting a fine example........These fascinating facts MUST be known to the world!

Brie1648

Less hole the year I was born!! I love doughnuts with holes - they have a less-fattening centre!!

ThomasCat

Lo, as we speak I am painting a placard "GIVE US BACK OUR HOLES" and I will be marching on City Hall when the snowbanks have melted.....

lelabugosi

Believe me when I say "WE SHALL NOT REST UNTIL OUR HOLES ARE WHOLE!".............

juneshone

stick to the holes tomcat they won't make you diabetic

ThomasCat

Yes, back in the old days when I was a young 'un here in the Canadian outback, once a month my mother would take the long trek into town and return with 'doughnut holes'.....then Tim Horton decided to open up his shop and he sold 'Tim Bits' which are doughnut holes.....I was nearly as old as the redwoods before I knew there was more to the doughnut than the hole....however I still only eat the doughnut holes.....and as Uncle Lela has pointed out they are getting smaller....so my days are numbered.....☹

jyl

You might want to be a little cautious with your "political representatives" on this one. Timmy's, the makers and purveyors of the best doughnuts in the world, is a Canadian company again, as was the hockey player who started the chain of stores.

lelabugosi

Well, I think that the whole (or hole) thing is a big cause for concern, and I urge you all to bring the subject up (but not the doughnut) with your respective, though not respected, political representatives......

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