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What kind of way is that to end a childrens book?

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Mischka

Come to me for all your literary bafflegab and gobbledygook needs.

msbonne

Then they will still get killed to death?

Better than being murdered to death I guess.

rswestley

Brilliant observation Ms_Maddy. Unbeknownst to most people, many of the pineapples you see on the street are mercenary pineapples brought in to fight the papayas. You can tell the real pineapples because they all wear hula skirts. But you are wrong about ham. Ham comes from the wholly land, just like Spam... 263 Ungulate Avenue, Curly Tail, Iowa.

Ms_Maddy

The worst possible outcome is driving the cute kitties to a place where the only food available is ham and pineapple pizza. That would be worse than death.

Ms_Maddy

Soylent green is a great salad dressing. I can eat it with the light switched off.

rswestley

I like expulsions.... (they should have been wearing their seatbelts)

Mischka

Hoff, even if they drive off the road into a river, the car will still explode.

rswestley

Hoff, I have lived a long and unremarkable life, but I have never heard of anyone that was killed that DIDN'T get killed to death. Am I missing something? Can I get killed and avoid death? What other options are available? Can I get killed and still have a pepperoni pizza? (with extra cheese?)

Juba1010

These are kittens John.

Soylent green is made out of people.

Juba1010

LOL Mischka. No toonces no!

Satan may not like other kittens showing up at his compound.

rswestley

BB, I'm certain it was just an oversight, but you left off the option to "go to the soylent green factory" off of your list.

rswestley

yeah.... what Mischka said....

nanab

In my ending each child can go wherever he/she chooses from the list below.

Mischka

At least that isn't Toonces driving.

Juba1010

I vote for grandmas house. Do they get a vote?

nanab

I have created my own ending without assistance from $25,000.000 words, although I do agree with everything Mischka said.
My ending provides for each child to decide if they wanted to;
a) go home
b) go to grandmas house
c) go to the compound

msbonne

I think it is cruel to send children to bed with the possibility that these creatures might drive off the road into a river and get killed to death.

Ms_Maddy

@Mischka, um, yes.

Mischka

Ah, in semiotic literary criticism, this is a problem of paradigmatic importance.

This apparently simple children's story alludes to "The Lady, or the Tiger?", a short story by Frank Stockton, which has entered the English language as an allegorical expression, a shorthand indication or "signifier," for a problem that is unsolvable.

We must consider this in the Saussurean principle of semiotic arbitrariness, or else devolve into the archaic simplicity of the Deus ex machina plot device, whose function is to resolve an otherwise irresolvable plot situation and to bring the tale to a happy ending.

Now, if we turn to the brilliant Umberto Eco (author of "The Name of the Rose" and the less cinematic but more classically important "Foucault's Pendulum"), we find that his work illustrates the concept of intertextuality, or the inter-connectedness of all literary works.

I sense I'm losing my audience, so I'll skip ahead.

The writer uses his auctorial powers to act as a God-like figure here:

"I HOPE THEY MAKE IT. DON'T YOU?"

Yet he is also abdicating those powers, by handing them to the childish audience, who are then allowed to share in the power of creating meaning from a ...

Hey.

HEY, hello, over here!

Is anybody still listening to me? It's a bunch of kittens! Don't you CARE??

Ms_Maddy

Oh dear. I do not want to read the sequel.

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