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Adonisette Reads The News

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Here is a still from our enlightening, educational, engrossing news programme on the BBC
(Bonga-Bonga Corporation) Channel........
The beautiful, beguiling bombshell, Adonisette Bugosi sat in front of the cameras as a sitting
stand-in for Hippolytus, who was otherwise engaged with his photography........
This transmission was a huge success, drawing a record number of viewers (8)...........Which
just goes to show that our commitment to quality broadcasting is paying dividends........
By the way, the 'CNN' stuff is just there to look impressive.....or not........
Why this advertisement?

Comments

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ThomasCat

Psquirt, your knowledge of our Canadian lore is epic! I am totally gobsmacked!

patsquire

HA! The brothers Darryl. Yes.

Actually though, this is Doug and Bob McKenzie of The Great White North fame, who called each other "hosers" and had a hit record with Geddy Lee. "...and there's NO NEED to talk about it!"

ThomasCat

Well now how did you ever find that picture.....it's my brother Darryl and my other brother Darryl...

patsquire

And speaking of Canada:

www.jigidi.com/puzzle.php?id=TRSGKDO8

patsquire

THE REST OF THE STORY

Congress awarded Eli Whitney a contract to mass produce 5,000 muskets for the war. It proved to be quite an impossible task. The production machinery, what we now call the machine tool industry, itself was in its infancy. He struggled for years but never met a delivery deadline. It was a noble experiment. It did indeed show the world the way to mass production, an idea whose time was at hand.

But as often happens, the pioneer who paved the way was the first casualty. Eli Whitney ended this adventure in bankruptcy, and the United States had to fight the War of 1812 with hand-made muskets.

MORE OF THE REST OF THE STORY

It turned out that Eli Whitney engaged in a little sleight-of-hand when he staged his grand demonstration for the generals and congressmen. His workers had indeed manufactured all those parts on machinery, and they were all basically identical. But the manufacturing equipment of 1812 was not all that precise. Each piece differed slightly from the others. Only slightly, but gun making is very exacting.

In order to get all 100 parts of all the components of a musket to fit together well enough to make 100 working guns, his men had to do a lot of hand filing, bending and honing on most of those parts before he set out for Washington, D.C. Basically he staged an elaborate parlor trick for congress, probably not the first time and certainly not the last time that has been done by the arms industry and many others.

(In the planning stages for the Space Shuttle NASA told congress that once the suttles were built turning them around between flights, getting them ready for the next launch, would cost between $10 and $12 million. In fact when the Space Shuttle program ended the average cost turned out to have been just over $1.5 billion!)

juneshone

Hurray for Wint, Johhny Twogun, and all the guys, they really kicked ass. As for my dolly, well it was so pretty that my Mom wouldn't let me play with it, so it sat up on show in all of its pinky loveliness. One night I sneaked it into my bed and its face melted, I am laughing even now. so no more limelight for Dolly Dimples heh!

ThomasCat

It is a large chapter in our history books about how our boys, after a perilous journey arrived at Grandma's kitchen, and there they saw this adorable little girl called Juneee with her golden curls and big blue eyes with long lashes, tap dancing and singing just like Tirley Shemple....and they knew they had to protect this kitchen at all cost...and they did!!...Hitler was sent packing.....our true heroes!!

gemstone

And we definitely love having you visit, ggl! :)))

grannygoatlady

Well, I still say we may have lost the White House, but we won the important War.....and in doing so, created a stirring National Anthem..........

And, on another note, I'm glad we failed in our ill-advised incursion into our Northern Neighbor's territory....It gave me yet another foreign country....besides Mexico....to visit............

lelabugosi

I love all this true history.......all the details that were hidden from the public......

gemstone

Good thing it wasn't the CEO's and CFO's of all the large American Corporations leading the charge...most of them seem to speak and read Chinese...

ThomasCat

Actually the assembly instructions were there however they were written in Chinese so that slowed them down a tad allowing us time to come in on our Indian ponies dragging our cannons behind us..

gemstone

So that's why the Canucks won...The Americans were assembling their muskets piece by piece...and the assembly instructions were probably not included! I hadn't realized that IKEA had already conquered Uncle Sam's great collective. Well, thank you to the Swedes and the Americans because now we have Laura Secord chocolates across the land! Have a champagne truffle? :)))

juneshone

flood the backyard what a cool idea, we have two streams that meet in our yard but it's rarely cold enough to freeze them through the day. anyway the boulders would kind of interfere with proceedings

juneshone

I believe it is in the Town Annals, she had three beautiful daughters who just loved tea dances. Well that's their story and they stuck to it. Mamma must I keep on dancing? Yes my darling daughter

lelabugosi

So THAT'S where all the Canadians were in WWII......... in Juneee's Grandma's kitchen!........
I think this should be recorded in the history books......

ThomasCat

Junee I am so happy that our fighting boys took care of you during that terrible time. Above all else, they were smart....they knew where the action was....your Grandma's kitchen!!! When my son was 2 years old, we bought him hockey skates and a hockey stick....we flooded our back yard to make an ice rink and he could skate like a pro.

juneshone

I remember the Canadians in WW11, mostly they seemed to congregate in my Grandma's kitchen and in exchange for her home cooking we got exotic presents. Lifeboys, chiclets, chocolate powder, chewing gum and I got the most beautiful doll in the world. We used to go to the ice rink with them and marvel at people who could get round it without falling over. they would make a long line and whizz round. Magic to a kid.

Elfie

- talking French!!!

ThomasCat

Our two countries are so alike and there are many times when I have wished there was no border between us. We are a quiet self-effacing populace who very much admires our boisterous neighbours to the south. And we always stand with you....in every war zone in the world our Canadian troops are there standing side by side with your military.

patsquire

Point well taken kitty-minus. When I was in high school in Pennsylvania the history books never mentioned the part about how we invaded Canada in an attempt at conquest. If we were all one gigantic country I wonder if the Great White North would be full of obnoxious New Yorkers, or if the Lower 48 would be a kinder, gentler Anne-Murray-singing land of mellowness, eh?

ThomasCat

The War of 1812 was more than a bump on the log to us up here in Canada....every year we celebrate like crazy...print commemorative coins...reenact the whole shebang when we drove those pesky Americans right back into their swamp....and we would have burned down the White House in a temper tantrum but it was tea time and we had proved our point...so we returned home victorious...

lelabugosi

Thank you, Mr.Le-Squirt, for that illustration of whatever-it-was-about..........
Hanne, I have provided large cushions...........

Elfie

Ohhh Varda, sounds like a great time is ahead, and young roger wants to join too!! This is almost going to be a party!!

patsquire

The War of 1812...........

Frankly, a bump on a log in the history of warfare. But to the modern world in which we live, a moment of pure, stunning brilliance.

It is widely believed that Henry Ford gave the modern world a great leap forward by inventing the assembly line. This is simply not true. Henry Ford's magnificent genius manifested itself when he invented the MOVING assembly line, which advanced automobile (and very soon most) production by leaps and bounds.

But until the War of 1812 EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD was made one-at-a-time by craftsmen. Every single pocket watch, every single telescope, every single stove, table, chair, wagon, shirt, dress and everything else which made life what it was, all over the world, was made one.....at.....a.....time.

So here we are, Americans against British again, in a desperate struggle to keep the freedom we won at such terrible cost just a few years earlier. As usual, America is unprepared for war. We need war materiel in large quantities, and we need it fast. Everything, from tents and blankets to muskets and gunpowder.

Enter Eli Whitney, the famous inventor of the cotton gin in 1793. The man who revolutionized the speedy production of cotton, causing a boom in the cotton industry from the plantations to the fabric mills to the millenary shops of the world. Eli Whitney manufactures machinery in New England. He prepares a BIG SURPRISE for the Army and for Congress. He loads his BIG SURPRISE on wagons and sets out for the capitol.

Muskets? You need muskets for this war? I'll show you how to make muskets! Here in this box are 100 triggers. They are all EXACTLY the same! Identical! Here in this box are 100 hammers. Identical! In this box 100 frizzens. 100 sears, 100 trigger springs, 100 hammer springs, 100 lockplates, 100 barrels, trigger guards, butt plates, stocks. 100 OF EVERY PART NEEDED TO BUILD A MUSKET! Now, choosing a part at random from each box, I will assemble a working musket right in front of your eyes!

And he did! And he loaded it and fired it, and it worked!

Firearms and warfare paved the way to the modern world. God bless the British for invading America in 1812.

rogerbugosi

Think I'll join you for this........Jolly good fun!........

Plumpossum

Move over, Hanne! This looks like it will be fun. I've got a HUGE bag of popcorn, and gallons of fresh limequatade!

lelabugosi

Yes, getting good.......I'll just watch!.......

Elfie

Ohh, this sounds interesting - I've taken a seat close to the net!!

lelabugosi

(Hee-Hee!)......................

gemstone

If we're dealing in facts, old-not-chomping-furniture-madam...1812...how did your White House get burned? (And how come you're not Canadian? 'Cause the Canadians had made their point and just decided to get back to the wife and kids...instead of heading into alligator country!) :))) (I wait in anticipation of the return volley.)

Elfie

But of course!! Why should anybody see it?? - really?

lelabugosi

As I said - "It is the 5th. of July, the day on which nothing happened anywhere."........Of course we all know about the bikini making its debut - ON THE 4TH.JULY......IN BONGA-BONGA!......(just that nobody saw it).......

Elfie

Indeed I think you did, you really had us down then!! Actually it was well done, we played on the wrong "horse"!

juneshone

well actually we did try hard in both of those wars, it was the American one I meant

patsquire

Lelabug says, "It is the 5th. of July, the day on which nothing happened anywhere."

Really?

July 5 is the day the bikini made its debut! Nothing happened? I beg to differ, strenuously!

I mean, no bikini, no Brigitte Bardot, no Beach Blanket Bingo, no modern world at all!!!!!

Elfie

The Napoleon wars or which wars, Junee? Lord Wellington really was great and so was Lord Nelson!!

juneshone

when we first came to this village and my husband would go out to the local pub they had a saying "Get thee pipe" meaning have a smoke it's time for somebody else to have a say. Always amused him

Plumpossum

Sour grapes, Juneeeee? Why don't you come on over and join us - - then you can be on the winning side. The language barrier might be a bit of a problem, but you seem to be "up" on all the latest lingo.

Elfie

We have a community in this country that says, "Those pointing with pipes are always right!"

juneshone

I don't think we tried too hard in those wars:)

lelabugosi

I welcome the comments made by Tom-minus and snaps-shnapps - either option would draw the crowds (from 5 or 4 miles away).......
And Hanne-with-pipe has stated a FACT, which is all we are ever concerned with here.......
old-not-chomping-furniture-madam, however, has further strained diplomatic relations with her incendiary comments......."a Small, Upstart Nation such as Bonga-Bonga" INDEED!.....HMPH!.......

grannygoatlady

Actually, H. & B. N, I was alluding to the Royal Navy and the Red Coats.....and if the Upstart American Colonials could put Them in Their place....what might we do to a Small, Upstart Nation such as Bonga-Bonga.....not meaning this as a threat of course..................

Elfie

Nothing really happened here in 1776 and 1812!! Well, we ended a war and lost it, but that's how it goes!!!

grannygoatlady

Well, I have to side with the P_Squirt....never thought I'd be saying that....but our National Monument needs to be RESTORED.....AND our Statue of Liberty needs to be HANDS OFF.....Not meaning this as a threat, BUT we KICKED BUTT twice......once in 1776 and again in 1812....don't make us do it again..........

gingerpeachy

My choice would be the exotic Mrs. Bugosi with her veil/bandage...the Americans could make a lot of money by charging all the Statue visitors for a chance to guess Who The Heck Is This??...people would flock from far and wide....probably three or four miles away just to have a go.....

ThomasCat

Are you thinking that Adonisette would be perfect??? She certainly has lovely arms that would effectively show off the torch!

lelabugosi

It is the 5th. of July, the day on which nothing happened anywhere.......Uncle Adonis is set in stone.......(I am also thinking that the Statue Of Liberty could do with a face-lift)..........

juneshone

if somebody would give the man his carving back we could progress, no?

patsquire

It is the 4th of July, the day on which Americans celebrate our nation's birth. It would have been the perfect occasion to unveil the restoration of one of our most beloved national monuments, with the defacement repaired and Ugly Uncle A. carved somewhere else on the edifice. Pity you didn't see the opportunity and capitalize on it. Pity.

Elfie

Let's see it then!!

Hippolytus

All for Art............and Art for all!..........

Plumpossum

Looks like Hippolytus has some fancy new photo equipment:
http://www.jigidi.com/puzzle.php?id=RXCX5WIY

juneshone

off on some big arms deal again I expect, hey maybe that is where Hyppolitus is, he has big arms!

rogerbugosi

Jolly good show, Adonisette.......now, where's that squirty-chappy?..........
Toodle-pip!

cakes1947

Seems like too many TV stars (sports stars too) head down the wrong path!! Thanks Lela!! :)))
(time, 2:12)

lelabugosi

But granny-not-munching......they WERE arrested in a Meth Lab.....in the US of A.........(what they were doing there, we know not).......
Hanne-with-pipe............Adonisette says thank you............

gemstone

WHAT HAVE I MISSED??? Been gone only FIVE weeks (not nine months!) and Adonisette is ready to deliver twins...seems like I have a lot of catching up to do from the wedding of the century!!!

Elfie

I'm glad to hear that Fozzie is repaired and have been awarded! Thanks so very much Adonisette for telling!! I do hope the very best for your future event!!

grannygoatlady

Well, our Constitution guarantees Innocent until proven Guilty....and I would assume the same High Standards are valid in the Bonga-Bonga Constitution......THEREFORE!!!...I am amazed, astonished, astounded, even shocked to see the Upstanding and Virtuous Adonisette reporting such Slanderous Innuendos and Ambiguities without a shred of Proof other than they "were arrested in a Meth Lab"...............

Adonisette

Helloo all!
Well, that was an adventure.......I was told to keep my head still for half an hour and look enigmatically stunning.......so that's what I did!........
The Fozzie story was different - he tackled a burglar who had broken into his mansion in Hollywood - in the struggle, his arms were pulled off as he subdued the intruder.........They have been stitched back on and he is recuperating in an undisclosed location........Anyway, he has been awarded a medal for bravery - thus the headline......
As for my little chickadees (which they might well be), I shall give birth at the D.O.L.L.S. under the auspices of Dr.Bilbo Bugosi, half-cousin of Dr.Adonis.......

juneshone

will she build a nest or put her eggs in an incubater?

gingerpeachy

Adonisette's telecast is a bit confusing.....the tag line says Fozzie The Bear but the picture behind her shows someone else....as far as Fozzie is concerned....all he ever says is Waka Waka Waka so I'm not surprised about the meth lab bust thingy....

ThomasCat

Adonisette, with her enigmatical Mona Lisa smile, is a woman of many talents and the viewing public (an unbelievable 8 viewers!!) must be agog over her news presentation...I hope Norbert, at the broom handle factory doesn't get jealous and this causes a rift or break or smash-up in their matrimonial relationship...that would be a disaster with the babies practically on the doorstep...

lelabugosi

Well, Tatty.......once these big stars hit the headlines, everyone is after them.......(funnily enough, one of the doctors said that Adonisette would look stunning if she was stuffed - a lovely compliment!).......

lelabugosi

Yes, raincoat-infusion.......it was truly stunning news.....Brought to you EXCLUSIVELY by Bonga-Bonga Corporation TV.......The ONLY news you can rely on......
(The eggs....I mean, babies will arrive in due time......about the time she is due, I'd imagine).......
Hanne.........They were taking a break from poking about in brains.......a cigarette break.......
david-many-numbers....please try and pull yourself together - it could possibly be a concoction, made by Beaker's Evil Enemies (B.E.E.S.)...............

Tatinha

Muppets are on top lately! The stunning not-stuffed Adonisette as a anchor (does she like boats?) might know about. Ênio and Beto, sorry Ernie and Bert, are in New Yorker cover this week. Who's next?

david06520

Not Beaker!!! Say it ain't so... sad face...

Elfie

Work??? Looking at TV????

teamac

I am stunned that Fozzie Bear is involved in this....it is heart wrenching news.

Auntie A does indeed look marvelous as usual...as well... also...
I keep waiting for news of the little additions to your clan....staying tuned here :^)

lelabugosi

Glasses?........No, Hanne, they do not drink.........well, at least not while at work............

Elfie

Ohhhh, I wonder if those doctors need glasses????

lelabugosi

Yes, pd-whateveritis.......At the time, I was watching tv at the Bugosi Institute of Neurology (B.I.N.) with a group of doctors, and they were suitably surprised by the apparent alteration in the appearance of the formerly hirsute Hippolytus........When I explained that it was not Hippolytus, but my relative, Adonisette Bugosi, they were indeed suddenly stunned speechless!.......

juneshone

yes dark, if it looks too good to be true it is

pdevredis

Well, we must all be stunned speechless--by her breathtaking beauty, maybe, even in her ninth month of carrying twins, or perhaps by her extraordinary talent, enabling her to take over for Hippolytus at a moment's notice. (I doubt that it was the news itself that produced that effect on us--always suspected those suspiciously sunny characters had a dark side.).....

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