Vinny: Is that a drip I hear? Mona Lisa: Yeah. Vinny: Weren't you the last one to use the bathroom? Mona Lisa: So? Vinny: Well, did you use the faucet? Mona Lisa: Yeah. Vinny: Why didn't you turn it off? Mona Lisa: I did turn it off. Vinny: Well, if you turned it off, why am I listening to it? Mona Lisa: Did it ever occur to you that it could be turned off and drip at the same time? Vinny: No, because if you turned it off, it wouldn't drip. Mona Lisa: Maybe it's broken. Vinny: Is that what you're saying? It's broken? Mona Lisa: Yeah, that's it; it's broken. Vinny: You sure? Mona Lisa: I'm positive. Vinny: Maybe you didn't twist it hard enough. Mona Lisa: I twisted it just right. Vinny: How can you be so sure? Mona Lisa: If you will look in the manual, you will see that this particular model faucet requires a range of 10-16 foot pounds of torque. I routinely twist the maximum allowable torquage. Vinny: How can you be sure you used 16 foot pounds of torque? Mona Lisa: Because I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory edition, signature series torque wrench. The kind used by Cal Tech High Energy physicists, and NASA engineers. Vinny: In that case, how can you be sure that's accurate? Mona Lisa: Because a split second before the torque wrench was applied to the faucet handle, it had been calibrated by top members of the state and federal Departments of Weights and Measures, to be dead-on balls accurate. Here's the certificate of validation. Vinny: "Dead-on balls accurate"? Mona Lisa: It's an industry term. Vinny: I guess the fucking thing is broken.
I do have some elevator lifts in a pair of cowboy boots I own. They are a bit difficult to walk in when taken to the top floor, but I can stand nearly 5 full feet tall!
Marisa is great. She often comes over just to tell me her troubles.
Marisa Tomei rocks! And why would Marisa Tomei hang around with a 64" Pesci when there is a 75" TIM available? (we're talkin' height here Hoff... something a sloth is unfamiliar with)
Trotter: Alright, alright. Now, Miss Vito, being an expert on general automotive knowledge, can you tell me what would be the correct ignition timing be on a 1955 Bellaire Chevrolet with a 327 cubic engine and a 4-barrel carburetor.
Ms. Vito: It's a bullshit question.
Trotter: Does that mean that you can't answer it?
Ms. Vito: It's a bullshit question. It's impossible to answer.
Trotter: It's impossible because you don't know the answer!
Ms. Vito: Nobody could answer that question!
Trotter: Your Honor, I move to disqualify Miss Vito as a expert witness.
Judge Haller: Can you answer the question?
Ms. Vito: No. It is a trick question.
Judge Haller: Why is it a trick question?
Vincent Gambini: [to his clients] Watch this.
Ms. Vito: 'Cause Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55. The 327 didn't come out til '62. And it wasn't offered in the Bellaire with the 4-barrel carburetor til '64. However, in 1964 the correct ignition timing would be 4 degrees before top dead center.
No no no no.... chrome release muffler bearings were not introduced till the early '80s. These muffler bearings had to be torqued down and steamed individually, otherwise they would lose all their nutritional value
Mischka, Being a past automobile historian, I can tell you the best time for a '71 Nova was '71 and early '72. After early '72 they started getting old and started depreciating. If you really want to test Hoff's automobile knowledge, ask him what the proper torque is for the muffler bearings (on Nova with headers and a tuned exhaust) or which worked best in a Nova catalitic converter... a tabby, a Persian or a Siamese.
Now, uh, Mr. Hoff, being an expert on general automotive knowledge, can you tell me... what would the correct ignition timing be on a 1971 Chevrolet Nova, with a 350 cubic-inch engine and a four-barrel carburetor?
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