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Almost Paradise-How could we ask for anything more

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This one is for all of you living in California and Florida (6toedcats, kareng, sue1, dawn, Hooknstitch, Lin and at least one other living near Sacramento) that think living in paradise is better than living in a litter box. Behold! With my crafty wizardry, I have lured several flamingos into one of our trees! My secret? I filled my bird feeders with brine shrimp and small crustaceans and VOILA! A little slice of Heaven right here in the “box”…. Now if I can just find a way to lure some crocodiles into my backyard, this would truly be paradise

*Note - no Flamingos, brine shrimp or tiny crustaceans were harmed making this puzzle... but if a crocodile wanders into my backyard, PETA will not be happy
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klocowolf

Sorry John but I've got problems with a rabbit always hitting me and the neighbors up for wine. It's something about time for a bottle. Add to that, our rare and endangered turkey vultures that sit on my and the neighbors roof don't like rabbit au vin. This is why I hope the flamingos can yuck it up enough to stir some trouble up.

rswestley

Thanks Ken, but late one night last week I caught the flamingos doing the bump nasties, so I should have some baby flamingos in the very near future (unless they accidentally get scrambled or hard boiled). But thanks anyways. OH! A hedgehog has joined the tree commune, so if you have any spare hedgehogs I might be interested... I'll have to check to see if I have any red wine...

klocowolf

Hey John want me to pick up some plastic flamingos for your trees too? Do you want them with or with out flamingo calls?

rswestley

Wonderful... I had forgotten about Pink Flamingo, Cry Baby and Hair spray, but thanks to you I will be in need of about 9 more months of intensive therapy... Thanks ALOT, mpp

morepiecesplz

I was going to send just the trailer for the John Waters film "Pink Flamingoes"... been a while since I saw it, but decided even that is too much. Just know there is a film so named...

rswestley

Sorry to hear you are cockless... but I've heard they have a drug for that...

morepiecesplz

John, thanks for sending this to me. We may have to resort to plastic flamingoes since the real ones don't come round much once we discovered how tasty they are in a citrus sauce... the peacocks come and go - one day I had six - but today I am cockless… screechy birds... we may try them with mangoes...

arabesque

I do not understand how you can make the truck driver, since you are becoming '' invisible man '', who knows how many problems with the traffic wardens! Who knows how many fines! I really liked the song "Luna Mezza Mare". It is by Dean Martin and describes a stereotype with which Italian people no longer identify. It is still very joyful. Thank you so much for the hard search you had to do. Best wishes. (Post scriptum: my tiramisu is formidable)

mackabroin

I don't think I knew you were in arizona john......I have spent a lot of winters down at the princess area.....my brother had a house there.......then he moved down to casa grande.....I loved it down there....beautiful counrty

gogogo

I saw the congratulatory note about the Gators, and loved it, thanks! And at that same puzzle, I've just now read your kind comment of New Year good wishes... :-))

https://www.jigidi.com/jigsaw-puzzle/8FENL8VI/SING-A-LONG-CHRISTMAS

Not a good year for Arizona Wildcats, but their time will come, in future, I'm sure...

rswestley

My note was half a congratulatory note about the Gators beating up on Michigan and the other half wishing you a wonderful 2019... (and don't ask how my Arizona Wildcats did this year, as tears are running down my cheek :-)

gogogo

lol - Yep, sounds like this is a year made for you, John! For me, too, when it comes to that, though my husband is not always in the mood for my nonsense... (And I can't particularly claim to be creative or inspired with my thoughts, for the most part - lol)

Sorry to say I apparently missed your note of several days ago, but I've read what you wrote here, and I thank you for the good wish for 2019. :-)))

rswestley

Thanks Pam! I hope you saw the note I left you several days ago wishing this coming year is filled with love and laughter. Only good things are permitted in 2019. And don't worry about me having "creative, inspired thoughts". I think this year is the Chinese Year of the Dodo, so I'm all set for a year of nonsense :-)

@gogogo

gogogo

@rswestley
Happy New Year wishes to you and your's, John! Hope 2019 is a healthy year for you, full of pleasant moments and creative, inspired thoughts... ❊❊☺︎❊❊

mackabroin

I am glad you don't live next to me ken.....just sayin'.....lol

klocowolf

Darn I keep wandering around trying to catch several for these guys for my front garden. Commonly called Irking the neighbors. I still haven't managed to net some.

mackabroin

john,....are you sure you never lived in mission bc.......I had a friend there.and he could roll it out just like you do......I so admire humor in people......thanks

ElenkaLen

We now have flamingos in the park and I can look at them not only in the picture, they are very beautiful :))

CJ45

Thanks John, the wife and I went to my youngest sons house for dinner yesterday and his partner cooked a Delicious meal for all of us half English half Greek, sadly we were both puffed out afterwards and then I had to drive home a two hour drive. But yes a great day. Thanks John for asking.

FUNNY MAN YOU ARE A TRIP :))

rswestley

Thank you Bev, Bobbie and Clive for all the well wishes. It really means a lot to me. I just spent the day at home with my wife and 17 kids playing fetch, rollover (I'm actually getting pretty good at playing roll over) and eating kibbles and bits. A very restful day indeed! And Clive, I hope you had a wonderful day with the kids as well! Thanks again!!

@pasta @CJ45 @bevpuzzler8

pasta

Happy Fathers Day John.☺☺

CJ45

Hi John on a lighter note have a "Happy Father's Day"

Hi John,
Just wanting to wish you a "Happy Father's Day"
Bev.

mackabroin

well you can rant at me clive.....or I can rant at you..same words going both ways...lol...I am really not waiting for that time.......maybe when push comes to shove.....she will.....lol

CJ45

Hi robin and Gina our palice is non stop promoting the Plonker and his disgraceful wife no end to ensure that he will pretend to be King when our dear Queen dies. He enjoys telling us to look after our planet but destroys it every minute he uses helicopters and planes for his personal uses instead of using using public transport like his distracy full brother Andrew.
Would like to get off my soapbox but they are so not "BRITISH"

oldandancient

I've seen most of them. So much fun to watch.

jals

I used to watch a little of it, Donna, but I haven't seen a lot.

oldandancient

Oh, I love Duck Dynasty. I love Phil and Miss Kay when they are with the grandkids. So cool how they teach them with some embarrassment involved.

jals

John,
Have you ever watched Duck Dynasty? Your frequent references to donuts (which makes me hungry for them) reminds me of a donut eating contest they had on there with Uncle Si and one of his nephews.

rswestley

Sorry for not getting back to you sooner Gina, but I was told I had to clean up my room before I was allowed to annoy anyone on Jigidi. But tell me Gina.... what's it like to be a Uber Driver? I just assumed since said you could take me places in your purse, you must be an Uber driver. But honestly? I really don't think a "Mini-Me" would fit in your purse. I (TIM) might fit, but you gotta remember I need to bring my feed bag, a large quantity of Depends and a boat load of donuts. But if you trade your purse in for a wheel barrow, it might work...

@PuzzleG

mackabroin

I definitely agree with you irene.....he is a "plonker" for sure..and she is nothing but a fluzie...lol.......I think that is why the queen has not stepped down yet...she doesn't want him to rule also....I think it will be a sad day for us all..but especially for all the "brits" when she goes....charlie and the "fluzie" will send the country to rack and ruin I think.........but wdik (what do I know)???.....lol

PuzzleG

I have always wanted to try some of the interesting English/UK dishes, like haggis & black pudding, which I'm told isn't really pudding like what we in the US think of as pudding, but a baked soft, cake-ish sort of dish. I have heard many comments on haggis, both pro & con. I enjoy trying new foods, my Dad used to buy weird stuff, like chocolate covered grasshoppers. I love tinned kippers & sardines, & all fish & seafoods, but not if it tastes too "fishy". I am so thrilled that, thanks to the internet, & Jigidi, & Facebook, I have so many friends all over the world. I love all of the friendly folks I've met online.
I try to pay attention to world politics & "affairs", not just here in the US. I have great respect for Queen Elizabeth, & would think she could see that Charles is not fit, neither ethically nor practically for the revered & trusted position of King. I would love to see Prince William crowned King. But that is only my probably-not-that-well-informed opinion. Having looked up the word "plonker", I can not think of a more accurate term for "You-Know-Who", & his concubine is certainly no better!
John, I think I need to carry a "Mini-You" around in my purse, for whenever I get depressed or frustrated. You can always make me laugh, even on my darkest days!

klocowolf

Snicker Your sssoooo right John.

rswestley

I'm with you Ken. Those strange lights in the night sky is just swamp gas, a weather balloon crashed in Roswell, New Mexico, Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone and Princess Di died in a car "accident".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2cShcXHE7g

klocowolf

Irene I tend to agree with you there is probably more to her death than will ever be told or see the light of day.

Jumble

Robin, we don't mind sharing the Queen, but the thought of Charles and Camilla ruling, makes me cringe, sorry I can't forget or forgive what happened to Diana.

mackabroin

I think being a canuck we think about britian differently from the yanks because we have always been so connected....I still think the queen is ours too.....lol...talk about living in the past....but she is still our "head of state".......I hate to think that charlie will inherit that position..I think we will all rebel...lol

djp

I'm with you on that Irene!

Jumble

Each to their own John. I think you worry too much about how people perceive your behaviour, it couldn't have been bad at all, we never had a chance to miss you. ☺

Dave, I can understand your disinterest in our royal baby and wedding you have to be born here to love it. I have no interest in other countries Royalty or politics, though I do take an interest and giggle, in how many times Melania swats away Donald Trump's hand. Just for a day I would love to be a fly on the walls inside the White House.

rswestley

I hate to admit it, but I have to agree with Dave on this one (would someone check my pulse and blood pressure, please?) We have (had) enough drama in our own White House to keep me amused. I don't watch royal Weddings, Crowning's, Knighting's or beheadings. And I haven't been invited to any child births, so I am completely OK with staying home and learning about sex stars, White House interns and the role that Marilyn Monroe played in our government. But I will say I have the utmost respect for anyone British. If I were a Brit, I would be in a dungeon somewhere shoveling coal into a boiler. I barely had the mental capacity to learn about our 250 year old country, Lord knows I could never learn about the history of a 2000 year old country. So when what's his name marries whoever she is, I will probably be drinking a beer and watching a football game on the telly... and not the kind of football where the guys run around in their underwear,,, REAL football :-)

mackabroin

oh good grief.....I mean we are NOT far behind you..lol

mackabroin

I agree with that dave.....I don't think we (canada) are far behind you...I think both our nations have a pretty big ego.....lol

djp

Not "interested" but very nosy -- we can't help but get involved in everything in the world that does not concern us!

CJ45

John he was named after Louis Mountbatten and uncle of theirs who the IRA blew up and killed him.
Sadly a nice guy who introduced our Queen to Prince Phillip when they were younger, so history remembers.

junglejim

You Americans are fixated more than I realised. Why did you fight the war of independence?

rswestley

Irene, sorry for not getting back to you sooner, but the bad news is that I have already served my brief exile and now everyone is stuck with me once again. Seems as if the older I get, my skin keeps getting thinner and thinner and I bruise (especially my ego) much more easily now. But thanks to the many kind comments, my ship has been righted and I have set sail once again in search of the biggest fish in the sea... "Moby Joe". Hang in there Joe - I'm paddling as fast as I can...

@Jumble

rswestley

What?? Donna?? did I read that right? William and Kate named their baby "Louis"? Why would they name their son after a French King? King Louis XIV, known as Louis the Great, was a monarch of the House of Bourbon who reigned as King of France from 1643 until his death in 1715. His reign of 72 years and 110 days is the longest recorded of any monarch of a sovereign country in European history. Blasphemy! Naming their son after a French King?? I think there must have been some collusion behind the wood pile. I say we get together a congressional committee, a couple of sub-committees, the manager of the local Walmart, take a few trips to the Bahamas and start a multi-million dollar investigation.... and we can call it "job justification"...

CJ45

As you say robin the Queen is just a figurehead also Donna yes Parliament rules.

mackabroin

I think she is more than a figurehead??......
I also think she is staying in power as long as she can to mitigat "charlie"....she should just make william her heir and be done with it..lol....but nobody cares what I think....lol

jals

ha ha John! I'm just ignored. For the most part.

Clive,
I think most people agree with you and would rather see William in place of his father. The people who are up in arms here about pollution and saving the earth do exactly the same thing. They are flying everywhere and using way more fuel than we do with our cars. They're mostly hypocrits, Clive.

CJ45

Robin,Dawn, John and Judy, Can you imagine a man that thinks about the environment and tells everyone about polluting our environment and planet and has never walked to any place in his life. "Peasants do what I tell you" and do not worry I will be in control if you made me King (F**k off you Plonker) you do not have a clue how the rest of us live your dear First wife Diana did however understand how we all lived.
Your current wife should never be a queen if you say you loved her you should have married her in the first place, again showing yourself as a plonker and have no backbone like the rest of your brothers.
Oh, Dear Queen Elisabeth issue a proclamation that your dear grandson William should be King and all of us in the UK would welcome.

rswestley

Judy, I must say I am rather flattered whenever Clive calls me a plonker.... it's about 2 steps up from what I am usually called

jals

Clive calls everyone a plonker. Even us.
I'm sure he's been groomed to take over. They've been doing this for a few years.

rswestley

Dawn, I would hope that over the years, Charles has learned not to purse his lips while sipping tea and has studied diligently to perfect the Royal's signature hand waving.... unless of course Charles is the "plonker" Clive says he is, in which case I assume they could afford a tutor

firstdawn

I can only hope that she let him sit in on meetings and decisions so that he doesn't take over without a clue about his job. If he's coming in cold, it's her fault for not teaching him.

mackabroin

they were talking about it in our news last week clive...and they said that it was "official" that charles would be king....I am not sure if it was a hoax news or if it was an actual press report.....but whichever.....the country will go to hell in a handbasket if he takes over......he sure is a PLONK.....you got it "just right"......will be a sad day......or so think I??

CJ45

Thanks Irene for putting me right.
John (rswestley) I met Roy Rogers when I was a child would you believe and was so excited still remember him to this day. LOL!!!

Jumble

No Clive, the Queen hasn't stepped down from the Commonwealth yet. Once she does and we don't know when it will happen, Charles will take over.

CJ45

Oh, Back again not sure that our Dear Queen is a lover of Cats !!! will have to Email her and ask.!!!

CJ45

John ,robin and Donna our dear Queen celebrated her 92nd Birthday the other day and good for her she also pressed the button for our annually marathon in London from Windsor Castle at the weekend all shown on our TV. and would you believe she was dressed to the (Nines) as usually and wore a beautiful hat and still carried her hand bag on her left arm ( what a gracious woman).
Sadly her favorite corgi died last week, so sad for her.
Just to say she asked the commonwealth leaders if she could put forward her eldest son Charles to be head of the commonwealth as she would like to step down and take it a little easier and they agreed.
Sadly I think that Prince Charles is a bit of a plonker and a terrible bore like all of his brothers but I do like Princess Ann, Another great Lady who likes to stay in the background. Cannot believe
Charles may be King one day what a plonker like some of our old Kings of years ago.
He should step down and allow Prince William to take the Crown.
All the above is my own personal opinion.
Off my soapbox now.
No offence to anyone. LOL!!!

Jumble

John, just out of interest, has your ban finished, or hasn't it started yet?

rswestley

Donna, I have no idea if Queen Elizabeth has a corgi or is a feline fanatic, but "give me the cat's arse" is an English phrase that is sometimes used to describe the facial expression of an irritated woman. I was merely making a feeble attempt to make Clive feel at home while he is amongst all of us silly yanks. Ta ta.... time for tea and crumpets!

rswestley

Robin, it concerns me when someone can make sense of my nonsensical questions. Now I am fearful the "nonsense pandemic" is much worse than I thought. All this time I thought the nonsense pandemic was localized in the South West USA, but apparently has now spread to NW Canada. Guess it is about time to saddle up my "Giddy Up" Stick Horse and head for the hills...

"Happy trails to you,
Until we meet again..."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgw_yprN_-w

mackabroin

lol john.........I guess I am more british than I thought....I have tears I am laughing so much at thid......typical "yank" remark.....and you do it sooo well......I will let clive fill in all your "blanks"...lol....he is right in the center of things.....and I am waaay across the pond.....great questions!!!

rswestley

Clive, I've been meaning to mention this for several days, but unfortunately I seem to have developed a short in my wiring (memory). Last Saturday (21st) I propelled myself out of bed, donned my red, white and blue Speedos and my best "Stars and Stripes" bandana and prepared for a day filled with festive jubilation... only to discover the Queen (the one and only Queen Elizabeth) was seemingly forgotten. Did no one celebrate the Queen's birthday? And how old is the Queen reeeeeeallllly? I know she celebrates her birthday twice a year (thanks to that bumbling King George II), so does that mean she is 92... or really just 46? since she has been celebrating two birthdays each year and hence, her "age" doubled? I'm so confused... I hope you don't give me the cat's arse for mentioning this or think of me as being hairy at the heel, but I think the Queen deserves better.... besides, now I have enough Tea Cakes and Jelly Tarts left over to cobble dogs with.

@CJ45

mackabroin

lol john........I agree with clive..what a hoot......the visual of you out in the desert conversing with a snake is very droll..........lol........good start to my day.....thanks

CJ45

Oh, John you tickle me so much it hurts, but am pleased your creature was allowed to be in the wild again like us but we are the wild ones and think we live in peace (sadly no way).
Even when we drive our cars we hate people that we have never met. LOL!!!

rswestley

Just for a little excitement, a 2 1/2 to 3 foot (approx. 1 meter) snake dropped in for a visit last week and I had to escort it out of our backyard. I wasn't sure if it was a King Cobra or Giant Anaconda so I wasn't sure which was more dangerous, the snake or the dogs. But like you Clive, I didn't have to heart to kill it (besides, I couldn't afford the cost of a funeral), so I put him in a trash can and took a stroll in the desert and released him. We exchanged pleasantries and I bid him farewell and told him he could stop by anytime for a visit (but I gave him Dave's address)

CJ45

Hi Dave, yes another nice creature to have in your home. How lovely.!!!

CJ45

Irene they are really gorgeous but must say they are real killers also and I have to clear their webs from my Bee boxes every day as they think that they are an easy kill for my Bees.
I even have to move them out of her bath when I get up in the early morning (they only get in to have a drink of water and get trapped due to the slippery sides of the bath) I pick them up and put them back on the floor so that they disappear down the floorboards again. Good job I am poor and cannot afford carpets else my youngest cat would be killing them. LOL!!!

How nice to have flamingos in your tree/yard! I'm just worried that the feeder won't be large enough and deep enough--I've seen pictures of flamingos with their heads upside down in the water, straining out the brine shrimp. Or maybe domesticated flamingos have learned to eat another way. I would suggest not walking under the roosting tree!

djp

Clive, I come from the desert Southwest country and learned early on that it is good to have one or two lizards call your house their home -- they do all of the dirty work on bugs very neatly and unseen!

Jumble

Clive, I can't believe you tagged me when the conversation is about the most hated thing I have ever seen!!!!!

jals

Wrong again.... go figure.

CJ45

Oh, dear I do not kill anything myself an I adore spiders ( Irene, Jumble) does not like them so I do not put mine on jigidi.
But I do have two killing machines in my house for spiders and mice TWO CATS and my wife is petrified when they bring them home to her and she will not go in any room that they have presented them to her. I even have to clear the garden of their kills when I come home (poor things they may have had babies to look after). So sad.
@Jumble
@jeribar8
@jals
@djp

djp

Yeah, nothing like raisins in your oatmeal that know how to swim . . . .

rswestley

Thanks for the advice Dave, but I believe the "10 2 & 4" advice originated with Dr. Pepper and I am currently seeing Dr. Kevorkian. But my association with Dr. Kevorkian will probably be short lived... his patients don't seem to stick around for very long so I may transfer my savings account to Dr. Pepper in the near future.

And Judy, I have to agree with Dave. Killing bugs is bad planning. Live bugs are much tastier and give a better "crunch" to oatmeal and casseroles. I'll ask Bob if he has any organic recipes he can share with us

jals

Great John! If you get really good at killing bugs, I have a place for you here in my organization. Or disorganization.
Don't listen to Dave. Killing those little things is a very good thing and makes many people happy.

djp

No John, NO! Not the cute little spiders -- and think about their families; become MORE sensitive and visit you counselor at least three times per day (10 2 & 4 was the old saying).

rswestley

No refills for me, Joe. One or two shots of Jigidy Beam in the morning is about all I can handle with my bowl of corn flakes.

Judy, my un-sensitivity training is going well. I swatted 2 flies with my fly swatter today and felt absolutely no remorse. Next stop.... the spider zone

jals

Joe,
Your having been a bartender makes sense. You have people skills. :-)

John,
I hope your sensitivity training doesn't cause you other problems.

rswestley

Gina? Do you live in Thailand? I don't think I have ever heard of "nattering nabobs". Are those like Chinese cattering kabobs? I'll have to ask Chef Bob if he has a tasty recipe

wjl1015

You can always count on your counselor/bartender John! I speak from the POV of a former counselor/bartender!! Many years experience!!

Would you like a refill??

rswestley

Thank you Donna and Gina for your kind words. Seems as if with every passing year my skin is getting thinner and thinner and now the slightest scrape, bump, reprimand or admonishment leaves a bruise or scar. But I have now enrolled myself in an UN-sensitivity class to help me cope with life's little ups and downs and as long as I go to class (the local pub) twice daily to speak with my counselor (the bartender) life seems much simpler.... (burp)

PuzzleG

PS ~ John, I love your flamingos. They look much happier roosting in the tree than the ones I've seen just standing around in someone's grass being bored stiff! ;-D

PuzzleG

John, I love your sense of humor, it is witty & eloquent. I really like gogogo's description of "wacky brilliance", that says it all, LOL! I hope you won't be gone long. It is so sad that some people are just humor-deprived, & some who suffer from thin-skin-itis, & those who carry a huge block of wood around on their shoulders, just waiting for a chance to throw it at some unsuspecting punster. I feel sorry for them because they cannot enjoy life as we do. In fact, hat is what we all should do about things we don't like on here. We all have different tastes & opinions, & everyone won't agree on everything. I totally agree with Robin & Bobbie, if they don't like one of your comments or posts, they should just take a deep breath & move on instead of dumping their malignancy of negativity all over our rainbow of happiness & harmony. Please John, don't let 1 or 2 nattering nabobs keep you from spending quality time with us here on Jigidi. ((HUGS)) Gina

CJ45

Got to LOVE, love you robin a true Canadian. you have stole my heart, truly. xxxx.

mackabroin

well I am a canuck....and I like being a canuck.....and it is only the people in quebec that "don't know" clive.....most of us are just an very diverse group who come from everywhere

firstdawn

It would be nice to be able to see through invisible people, esp. at the movies!

djp

Dawn, the Canucks are friendly folks, but the Auzzies have them beat by far. True neighbors, even if you live a couple of thousand miles away!

rswestley

Dawn, that's only because you have not been on a tour bus filled with invisible people. They're really nice and they never get in the way or spoil your view. (BTW, I spent 2 years (2.56% of my life) in Canada... does that count?

firstdawn

I have worked with or known many Canadians. I even once went on a tour where most of the group were Canadians. I have never met such a bunch of friendly, likeable of people.

rswestley

Ancestry is of no importance to me. I don't care if a person is from Botswana or Frostbite Falls. Doesn't matter if you are a Brit, Aussie or a Heinz 57 variety... what matters is the stamps inside your Passport. If you have been to Atlantis, Who-ville or The Emerald City, you're A-OK in my book. "Keep off the moors, boys. Stick to the roads..."

CJ45

No Jim, never a half caste. Be mixed race like the rest of us.
Ha,Ha.

djp

I really like people who have pride in who they are! I have been a "Haole" in Hawaii (white pig was what we were told it meant) during my college years and am now a "Gringo" in Mexico in my old age.

Neither term had any influence on who I am/was and I never had it bother me in any way. Many of my friends in Hawaii were of Chinese and Asian descent and here (Mexico) many of my Mexican friends trace their origins back to the Middle East and Europe.

Irene, your post looks like you are helping me dig! ; - )

junglejim

My father was British so does that make me a half caste.

CJ45

Thee Hee !! I am proud to be British and have always felt sorry for the people in Oz but look at them now and all that space.
Canadians have a problem as they do not know if they are French or English and they do not interbreed so what is a real Canadian ?

Jumble

Dave my friend, I thought you started digging a hole for yourself when you said "Clive is punished enough by just being British!!" Now you are asking for my help............................................!

junglejim

I wish I could show you around.

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