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In this day and age of gender equality, it is with great pride and an overactive ego that I am proud to announce the winner of the 2019 Nobel Prize for Stitchery is none other than our very own.... (the sound of mouths dropping wide open in astonishment)... TIM, for the rescue and rehabilitation of a stuffed animal. Thanks to TIM, the stuffed animal has fully recovered and will be returned to the wild to live out the remainder of it's life surrounded by 14 stuffedtoyivorous floor wetters. (As you may notice in the attached picture, the gender and species of the stuffed animal is undetermined at this time... awaiting the results of DNA testing)

The awarding of this year's Nobel Prize for Stitchery finally recognizes the global equality of men and women. This new age will usher in an entirely different perspective to the relationship of men and women... no longer will men be the target of frying pans and flying glassware. Men will now be treated with respect and admiration as they demonstrate they too can complete menial secretarial tasks, fetch an unlimited number of cups of coffee and yes, men will finally be recognized for the ability to perform emergency sewing of dismembered pet toys.

(Definition of the Nobel Prize for stitchery as described in an excerpt from the last will and testament of Alfred Nobel) - “The said prize shall be awarded to the person who shall have created the most decorative embroidered headband or a crocheted afghan within the field of stitchery." (Alfred Nobel's research was closely tied to needlework )

The Nobel Prize in Stitchery is awarded annually by The Royal Swedish Academy of Feminists, Stockholm, Sweden.
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Comments

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Juba1010

Lol Maddy :-)

Ms_Maddy

btw that is a good looking and well-crafted spleen. Congrats on your prize.

rswestley

Thanks for the update Juba... I must say mpp looks stunning in her white gag... simple, yet elegant...

rswestley

A modern day remake of a classic song from the 50's honoring our MIA friend, mpp.

"What a difference a gag makes
Twenty-four little mumbles
Brought the sun and desires
To torture TPTB for isolating me from all of my friends at Christmas time and I hope Santa poops down your chimney and leaves you lumps of coal like my dogs leave lying around in my backyard"

Well.... maybe not one of my better musical "redo's", but it conveys the Holiday spirit just in time for Christmas. The last line could use a little work. If anyone has any suggestions, my phone is in "do not disturb" mode... just give me a call...

Bubble

Just checked it out Juba, thanks hon.

Good for you mpp - take that gag off before you eat your Boston cream pie and I love your new contemporary hair do !! (❀ᴗ❀)

Juba1010

AND A BIG PIECE OF BOSTON CREAM PIE TO MPP! :-)))

Juba1010

Has anyone noticed that @morepiecesplz has a new avatar and comment on her home page??? Hello there our friend!

msbonne

Ok, fine.

Bubble

Jingle bells are mandatory, Hoff, just sew it on your very fetching Xmas hat. (❀ᴗ❀)

msbonne

I will take mine, minus the bells.

Bubble

A giant ditto with bells on ! (❀ᴗ❀)

Juba1010

Same to you Carol with whipped cream on top! Merry Christmas to all our jigidi friends. :-)

clrtexas

I'm sending you all big e- piece of Boston cream pie - that seems to be the favorite. Love and Merry Christmas to you all!!

Juba1010

Boston cream pie ....ggggggggggggg slurp

Bubble

Carol, you are such a sweetheart - please pass the boston cream pie, I'd like some for breakfast xx(❀ᴗ❀)

clrtexas

You ALL keep me laughing so hard I can't eat the Christmas cookies!! (or the pumpkin pie, key lime pie, Boston Cream Pie, and ice cream). (Can you tell I'm hungry?)

ParsonWayne

TIM, you keep us in stitches sew much of the time.

Bubble

Well they will give your teeth a good polishing, so you can knock that off your next dentist's bill next visit (❀ᴗ❀)

Watchman

Sound good, will it remove the fillings in my teeth? I do not want to give my Dentist a ticket to Hawaii for Christmas this year and Santa does not like going down my small wood stove pipe, knowing that there a pit bull laying beside it.

msbonne

I do NOT intentionally harm children. As I have stated, I am NOT a violent sloth. As for anybody that I have scratched, sorry, but a sloth has got to eat too.

Bubble

I dunno John, Bug Bub conjures up connotations of me submerged in bed bugs and other nasties.
Now Bub Bug sounds a lot better and I may contact Disney and change my name after Xmas if it still sounds as good. (❀ᴗ❀)

Max I've tried the SFWarpKitt and it didn't work very well, ended up in a mysterious alter universe called Gigeedee, which was puzzling to get out of.
You'd be better of with a Space Fabric Wefting Kit. (❀ᴗ❀)

Hoff is still pondering in slomo time.

Watchman, if you add a soupcon of candied earwigs to the mix - it may taste even butterier (❀ᴗ❀)

Juba1010

LMAO! :-)))

Watchman

You can always add this secret family recipe. Sauté weevils in butter popcorn balls, for that extra flavor; it is new this Holiday season, an item with a twist.

Max_Tooney

Yeah, I'm working on that 'escape' thing, even as we speak. I've got my fingers crossed that I'll get my requested gift this Christmas: "Space Fabric Warping Kit".

rswestley

Almost forgot...Max, nice to see you are still pondering the universe. As soon as you find an escape out of here please let us know... I could use a vacation.

ms - You may have to turn in your hat. Rumor has it Santa is not pleased that you are damaging so many of the good little boys and girls toys with your claws. Maybe a manicure is in order? I have a pair of gloves I used when I was a badger working in a bubble factory... I could let you borrow them if you promise to return them

rswestley

It's nice to see all of you are behaving yourselves while I finish serving out my sentence in the kitchen. Time off for good behavior is out of the question, so I may resort to a baguette to the head of my warden to escape (no worries, raw baguettes are relatively harmless). Sorry to hear you are fighting off another bug, Bub (Hmmmm, "bug Bub" has a nice ring to it. I think the next new species of bugs I find, I will name in Bub's honor... "bug Bub" - not to be confused with "bed Bubs"). My newest creation in the kitchen is cupcupcakes. Just as a cupcake is a small cake, a cupcupcake is a small cupcake.... Bonnie, you might want to add cupcupcake to your cooking glossary. Oh, and Bub, my newest flavor of cookies has been delayed. My shipment of New Zealand Longfin Eels got stopped by customs as they were slithering up the river and with our current drought it's difficult to find fresh beetle saliva. I'll tell my bug man to not spray our house this month so maybe we can get some fresh saliva. OK... back to the kitchen. I hear a pan of baklava calling to me...

Bubble

ms - we used up nearly all the Points comments on the darts a long time ago. Suffice to say, I WON'T be shaking hands before and after rounds from now on as Proffering Paws Passes Pests Publicly.

The Flight or Fight theory only comes into play when someone Darts another player, then its time for the Fisticuffs Finale. (❀ᴗ❀)

Max_Tooney

I see what you did there, Buster...

msbonne

I often wondered what is the point of a darts group? Did it take long for your group to take flight?

Bubble

Burnt coriander ! - that sounds truly disgusting !
Bonnie, I guess John is still immersed in his baking marathon so will have to wait for him to surface.


Although I'm bm puzzles, I'm not on here much at present as courtesy of my darts group, I'm fighting another bug and don't want to spread it around to y'all.
How is your dad doing? (❀ᴗ❀)

manicpuzzler

꒰•‿•꒱꒰•‿•꒱꒰•‿•꒱LOL꒰•‿•꒱꒰•‿•꒱꒰•‿•꒱

You missed out the hog nose and burnt coriander flavour Bub!

jals

Thanks Juba.

msbonne

I need some spam spiced latte.

Bubble

John, when can we put our order in for some of your more exotic flavoured cookies ?

Just put me on the waiting list for spam /chocolate chip, herring /vanilla, and banana slug/pumpkin
spice. thank you. (❀ᴗ❀)

@rswestley
:)) Well, at least you are the Cookie Man and not the Cookie Monster!!
Cheers my friend and peace and Joy this holiday season. Hugs too, if that's OK?

wjl1015

I think you might need the Keebler Elves........

Juba1010

@jals As I told John long ago...I see you. Let your light shine! If I don’t hear you just SLAP me. Hugs

rswestley

Bev, I am trapped in the kitchen and have been told I cannot leave until I finish baking dozens and dozens of cookies. 'Bout five years ago I started baking Christmas cookies for my family, then it was cookies my family AND in-laws and as the legend of TIM's cookies began to spread, I began baking cookies for my wife's friends. This year I am expected to produce 21 tins of cookies (and gain 5 pounds in the process). I take great pride in announcing I have already gained the 5 pounds... now I just need to find a way to bakes hundreds and hundreds of cookies. WHERE ARE THOSE DAMN CHRISTMAS ELVES WHEN YOU NEED 'EM? … If I don't respond to any comments, blame the DAMN ELVES!

@bevpuzzler8

jals

I SUPPOSE I COULD SHOUT ALL MY COMMENTS.

Bubble

@Juba1010
@jals
Thanks Juba, I've been on overdrive for a couple of weeks (❀ᴗ❀)

I can hear a faint tinkling noise, can that be Tinkerbell - no its Judy; you're going to have to speak UP a bit honey, my hearing is not 100% !! (❀ᴗ❀)

manicpuzzler

꒰•‿•꒱꒰•‿•꒱꒰•‿•꒱LOL꒰•‿•꒱꒰•‿•꒱꒰•‿•꒱

Three cheers for TIM's award you did a brilliant stitching job. As good as new!

redina1

Congratulations on this well deserved honor. You truly are a trailblazer. :)

Juba1010

He’s hard to find Bev, because he’s invisible. He’s probably feeding his dogs about now.

@rswestley
Where the heck are you?

Juba1010

You’re looking a little faint Judy. Maybe you should sit down. :-)

jals

And I've caught the disappearing bug.

clrtexas

Hi, Juba! Grabbing a few minutes amongst all that is going on right now....

Juba1010

Well looky who. Hi Carol. The gangs all here. :-)

clrtexas

Congratulations for the Nobel Prize, TIM, and thank you and everyone for the great laughs at this puzzle. LOL -- Carol

Juba1010

Hi Bubble. Perhaps a fever is speeding you up. Get well!

pasta

Hahaaaa. :)

Bubble

John, you had me in stitches - even though I'm sitting here with a king size bug, again, I still beat you on the LB. (❀ᴗ❀)

treker

Bonzer mate!

Max_Tooney

The feeling I'm experiencing right now is the same as the one on that first visit to the Louvre...

wjl1015

LOL :))

John, what in tarnation you been smokin today??
This picture looks like a papoose baby carrier. :))) 12-16-19

Juba1010

HaHaHa! Almost blew bacon out my nose. You turn my frown upside down! As far as the fart thing... perhaps on another puzzle. (-::-)

rswestley

OH! Almost forgot... I've never experienced an exotic (or was it erotic?) fart before. Perhaps you can show me sometime?

rswestley

Juba, sorry to hear about your dyslexia. Hopefully you will get a box of Post Alphabet cereal or a can of Campbell's alphabet soup for Christmas. Perhaps they will show you the proper way to post a 'happy face'. I was totally confused by your backwards happy face.... only Canadians and Lithuanians (for obvious reasons) post happy faces smiles first... all civilized countries post happy faces with their eyes first....

jals

⊂( ・ ̫・)⊃
You probably can't tell but I'm laughing. Thanks John.

Juba1010

LOL......the dog toys you can buy now-a-days. And I thought the farting wart hog at the grocery store was exotic. (-:

dustydog

Great job of stitching! So proud of that you saved this marvelous stuffed toy! (?)

rswestley

Juba, it's not Killer... I'm not that lucky. The DNA results have not come back yet, but we suspect it was a red Volkswagen bug or Baron von Richthofer's red Fokker dr-1 Dreidecker. Either way, we are expecting Germany to withhold all shipments of streusel to the USA...

msbonne

The whole equality movement has me confused. I have no problem with anybody of any race or gender being successful in any position. I DO have a problem with being told that as a white male, I am not qualified to have a position. The equality movement has gotten to a point where white males are looked down on, and shoved to the side, all in the name of "equality". I could have sworn that equality meant equal for everybody.


Oops, sorry, just got told to get off the soapbox, as I am not qualified to use it anymore.

:::Sobbing quietly as I look for the exit:::

firstdawn

OMG I better get busy shopping.

rswestley

Now that our "guest of honor" has made an appearance, here's to the other victims I enjoy to annoy... Be nice to Juba today, her overbearing Christmas tree chased all of her friends away last night. If anyone has any spare friends, please send them to Juba, but hurry, there are only 8 more shopping days till Christmas...

@morepiecesplz (out of respect for those who have passed on) R.I.P. mpp - we all miss you
@dustydog
@nanab
@clrtexas
@morepiecesplz
@jals
@Max_Tooney
@wjl1015
@msbonne
@Nicepeach2
@ParsonWayne
@djp
@Bubble
@treker
@firstdawn
@mackabroin
@manicpuzzler
@sbwilner
@Hismorts
@bevpuzzler8
@PutterDutt

Juba1010

He he he..... what was it before? And when was the last time you saw Killer....is it moving? Thanks my friend. :-)

Watchman

LOL ;-)))

Very funny. So please don´t blame your hamster!

rswestley

I hope you find the humor in this post... If not, I will blame my hamster and take absolutely no responsibility (just like a man :-)

@Juba1010

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