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A Letter Of Some Importance.....

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In fulfilling my duties as principal postman of Bonga-Bonga, I have had to return once more to the outskirts of the outskirts of Lower-Bonga-Bonga, in order to deliver a letter of some importance.......
This time, I was careful to avoid the onion fields, having been admonished by Mrs.B for 'smelling
bad and making her cry' .......I did however notice numerous placards in the area praising the
efficiency of the Bonga-Bonga Postal Service - one said "Our mail service stinks", another "Our mailman is a vegetable"........I found these signs of approval very encouraging...........
I ended up in a landscape of tomatoes (and tomatos also, as well, too)........Being overburdened with heavy mail and feeling exhausted after the long trek, I was incapable of climbing the steps leading to the door of the destinee, so once again had to use my postman's common sense - this time I left the slightly important letter between the ears of the donkey seen here........I thought that was the only
logical thing to do......
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juneshone

Oh I relive each and every one of them but my favourite is that old Laura Branigan song Gloria, didn't we set the crowd wild, waving things around as we let rip with that one, P Squirt nearly swallowed his mouth organ. I do hope his technique has improved. Oh I do miss it all.............

lelabugosi

I believe Mr.LeSquirt practices daily, to perfect his 'technique'............

how could I not remember Junie! Remember this one "Those were the days my friend
We thought they never end
We sang and danced for ever and a day
We live the life we choose
We fight and never lose
Those were the days oh yes those were the
days"

Wasn't that Psquirt that accompanied use on the mouth organ?

Elfie

You are SO welcome, I'm sure they'll love it!! But they have to finish there task right now, but join in the party afterwards!! We could all do that, really!!! They have started the fire on the beach!!

Hi Elfie, I have been keeping up with your little gold people. They're so sweet I just want to hug them all!

lelabugosi

Yes, the prodigal son.........I mean, daughter.....has returned!...............

Elfie

Ohhh happy day!! Nice to see you after all!!

juneshone

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Hi Gawldarn I am so glad to see you, that old song keeps running through my head, remember the one I used to sing to you in my cabaret act " Hello Gawlie, well hello Gawlie, it's so good to see you back where you belong" Bring on the biscuits I'm hungry

rogerbugosi

Sir Wainthorpe - that's across the road at No.69!..........

Sir_Wainthorpe_Bugosi

Helloo, you beautiful budding flower!........Are you the young gal who teaches the pottery class?......

Oh my GOD JUNIE!!!!!!! How are you darling? We must get together soon to reminisce about the golden years when we entertained the Royalty of Europe in your lovely little cabaret. I must get to baking Biscuits for our tea!

juneshone

she probably would but I'm not sure about the Gawldarns wanting an interloper

lelabugosi

I suppose they can all just share............

juneshone

so wonderful for the Gawldarns and Roger to have found love, hopefully he will stop whirling arund from one fragrant flower to the next. I don't know what ChurchLady is going to make of this competition, but I am delighted!

rogerbugosi

Gawl-of-the-goldern-darn........I am now here, my sweet!...........And I must say, you are looking radiant today.....last night......whenever!...........I'll pop round to yours again tonight............Toodle-pip!

lelabugosi

Nope..............not me this time, precious-pebble (I'm just back here).........
As to your question, also.....I believe Master Henry is about 12.....roughly, sort of......

gemstone

Talking to yourself, lela? :DDD

Oh peesquirticus my gladiator. Wouldst thou do battle for moi?

No need to fight ladies there is enough of Roger to go around....and around.....and...well you get the point ...so to speak.

Well Roger seems to have taken a shine also to me Also! We'll let Roger decide this. By the way, how old is Master Henry?

Roger?......Roger?.....are you here Roger darling?

Please let's do leave Roger out of this. Roger only has eyes for me!

gemstone

Let's leave Roger out of this!

lelabugosi

O nameless one, who goes by the name of The_Ascended_One when appearing before our mortal eyes...........Fear not for us Bonga-Bongans, for the only one who has truly fallen under the spell of SisterIneeda is the damaged personality known as Pee-Squirtzhishosen..........

(over and out, mayday, copy, roger)

Hello Elfie. It is good to see you guys again. I must warn everyone in Bonga-Bonga that SisterIneeda may not be exactly who she appears to be. I cannot tell you more because it would be against the Prime Directive. Just be very vigilant until this matter resolves itself.

We are with you now as we have always been and will always be.

(over and out)

Elfie

Heidi be careful, it's almost as in the old days in Iceland!! When they tried to baptize people and they wouldn't they were punished - in those days ... killed!! Be careful with that ruler Sis Ineeda, are you sure your God likes it at all??

Hiedi you may only ask if you have been baptized in the convent tadpole pond. Well have you? If not give me your hand. That's five swats across your palm with a ruler! Now God bless you my child. Run along now, it's almost tea time.

rogerbugosi

My dear, dear Ineeda........how can I excuse myself from missing our 'liaison dangereuse'?.......What happened was that an old flame (not yet extinguished) paid me a visit, and we were chatting over a bottle or two of Tadpole Wine.......Well, after the candlelit meal, one thing led to another, and when I emerged from the shower, the clock was striking 3.....a.m.!........Maybe some other time, honeysuckle!
Toodle-pip!

Surreal_Heidi

Do I dare ask what kind of counseling?

patsquire

Woo-hoo! Counseling!

Well Roger it is now 10:30 pm and I assume I have been stood up. God always has a reason for everything he does. I really wouldn't want to come between you and Sister sisters Darn and also Also.

Dr. patsquare, sooooo you looking pretty good honey...well other than your pasty complexion and whatever that is in your hair. I do believe with a little...counseling we can turn you into a true believer. Please have your people get with my people to schedule an appointment. I must say I'm really excited to see your mother's embroidery work.

patsquire

You're both welcome. A magpie taught me a good lesson in my life and career as a shooter too. No harm, no foul to either me or the magpie. I remember it in detail to this day!

Elfie

Thanks from me too, P-squirt, I like those big birds very much, you can talk with them!!

jignut

How do I know this? My grandpa had one. Grandma got tired of cleaning up after it so she opened the door and let him outside. It would fly back into the house every chance it got.

jignut

Thanks for puzzle Squirty. Magpies are are a lot like crows. They are very smart and mischievous.....and messy.

patsquire

Hmmmmm, now I wonder who around here would be interested in this one?

www.jigidi.com/puzzle.php?id=YA6LZ0KZ

And by the way, that's Dr. Squire, if you please, madam. Sista. Hot stuff. Nun on the run.

Hmmm. It does seem the guilty always protest the most Mr Squire!

Roger, my place tomorrow around 7:15 P.M.. Mustn't let the Sister sisters or their sister's Brother brother find out!

rogerbugosi

Well HELLOO there, SistaSnort!........
Pray tell me, are all you sisters simply born gorgeous, or is it a habit you pick up when you don the habit?........I am indeed acquainted with the beautiful sister sisters to whom you refer - in fact I have been a frequent visitor to their cells (which are the most beautifully decorated of all in the convent)......
Perhaps we could discuss the matter over a candlelit meal aboard my yacht, with a bottle or two of Tadpole Wine?.......I'll pick you up at your place, sweetiepie...........

patsquire

Aw, c'mon! Not another false accusatory accusation from some bogusly accusing accuser!

OK - A.) I was in Chicago, my new home of alibis-for-all-occasions, and I have half-a-dozen witnesses who will swear at a stack of bibles that I was playing poker with them at all applicable times.

B.) I don't even know where the 'Our Lady Of The Tadpole Convent' is in Bonga-Bonga, or even technically where Bonga-Bonga itself is.

AND 3.) I broke that habit long, long ago!

Plus which furthermore, my mom EMBROIDERS "PS" on my underwear, which means that any "PS scribbled on the band" or anywhere else on any skivvies is a Red Herring, a False Clue, a Perversion of the Truth planted at the Scene Of The Crime by enemies unknown! (Unknown, but suspected of having puffy faces, spitting a lot and doing other disgusting things, and being NEW around here!)

Hello brothers and sisters of Bonga-Bonga. My name is Sister Ineeda and I have left the confines of 'Our Lady Of The Tadpole Convent' to warn all of Bonga-Bonga but in particular Roger Bugosi of the threat that you and he may be facing. Two days ago two of our charge, Sister sisters Gawldarn and Gawldarn Also, were found missing after they did not show for morning prayers. Upon searching their room I discovered the walls covered with photos and sketches of the person I have identified as Roger Bugosi. Under one of the mattresses we found a pair of men's skivvies with the initials P.S. scribbled on the band . We are yet to determine who P.S. is and how the skivvies got in the Sister sisters room. I have spoken to one of the Sister sisters sisters and have discovered these two may not be who and what they appear to be. If you find them or they find you please remember non of us are without sin and that we are all God's children. I must return to the convent now before dark. Being a rare order of Amish Nuns we do not have electricity. Perhaps we'll meet again soon.

patsquire

Yeah, well pal, I can shoot yer spit outta the air before it gets there!

MasterHenry

I can spit at a moving target from 10 feet.......and hit it!........

juneshone

that is the best news of the year, and somebody else got the scoop. I do hope they will come by to see us

patsquire

Holy mackerel . . . . . . . Joy of Joys . . . . . . . BIG NEWS! . . . . . . . They haven't navigated their ways to Bugosiland yet, but both David06520 AND our long lost gawldarn her sister gawldarn_also have returned to Jigidi!!!!!

Let the revels begin, let the fires be started!

so ,,,I saw you riding a big big horse , you must be able to climb on that Little donkey and than 1. , 2. , 3. , finito again !

lelabugosi

Heidi-pigeon-pie.......I have come to the conclusion that you have an unhealthy obsession with ears - I would strongly advise therapy........
gerdje-thingy........I could not take the hat away, as I was unable to reach it......as it was out of reach for the postman, the letter could not possibly be delivered there.......therefore it is NOT a letter-box.......thank you..........
As for you, MasterHenry.........Stop annoying people!..........

Postman ????? A good postman knows the letter boxes . this one is standing next to you : 1.take the hat away 2 .put the letter inside 3 Close with the hat .finito. The servants from the building will bring it upstairs . O O O you need postman lessons .

Elfie

I'm SO sorry but we have to leave for some time, urgent family problems!!!

juneshone

Remove

K Boy now you be good and fly away from that boy, I can tell he is a horrible trouble maker and you will get the blame

Hanne, it seems KBoy has imprinted on you, now would seem like a good time for a Holiday in Denmark. Bent could teach him a few Viking moves, make a man of him! Just don't mention wrestling.

Surreal_Heidi

I'M insane??? Ol' Big Ears is the one who can't tell a pomegranate from a peach, or a parrot from a pigeon! Nor can he tell that everybody here (nearly) prefers his original ears to those ridiculous Topo Gigio/Mickey Mouse monstrosities! THAT'S insane!

MasterHenry

Mr.Pantsquirt is nuts, also, as well, too.........
C'mon Kaleido - let's go and "kick some ass"....Hee-Hee!

kaleidoboy

Mrs.Painted-stuffed-pigeon.........I have told Mr.Bugosi about you.....he says that you're insane, that you trade in animals, and I've to keep away from you......
Helloo Auntie Juneee and Auntie Hanne!...........

Elfie

Ohhh Juneee, you can't mean it!! His real ears are SO sex....ehh I mean cute!!

juneshone

dear Mr l Squirt, have you forgotten what his real ears look like, leave the Mickey Mouse efforts in situ

Surreal_Heidi

Peesquirts.... all you have to do is arrange for one measly little letter.... marked URGENT... to be delivered to you with a Lower Bonga-Bonga address, then wait behind a tree (or a giant tomato or pomegranate) for the world's most pathetic postman to try to deliver it (and give up) and ambush him from behind. If you can get rid of those Topo Gigio/Mickey Mouse ears, you might actually get a medal, or a keg of beer, in gratitude from the rest of us.

patsquire

Dude, c'mon man, I'm gettin' pretty good with this ear gun. I've been practicin' n' everything. One quick shot and those ears would be gone man, gone. And if you keep your eyes closed a stray pellet probably wouldn't blind you, or we could do it from the back! Hey, that's right, I could sneak up behind you! POW! Those giant ugly ears would be gone before you knew what hit you! Yeah, POW! Cool, dude. Why don't you start taking a stroll around the lanes and byways every evening, right after dark? Oooooh, this is gonna be fun!

lelabugosi

Mr.Biscuit......I see the hat, but the only satchel I see is the one round my shoulder......hold on!.......HMPH!!

JM_Cookie

Yes I can see the tiny letter, placed between the donkey ears, oh wait is it a donkey or is it an Ass.
Oh wait, yes that's right I remember a donkey has the long pointy ears and the Ass has the big round ones, often with a hat and burdened with a satchel...... Oh.... oh, Never Mind

lelabugosi

I have fulfilled my duty, and deposited the letter......it cannot be seen as it is very small, and the donkey's ears are very large.......as befits a donkey........maybe I should rephrase that.......

grannygoatlady

Umm....Maestro Lelabug....having scanned, scrutinized, analyzed, dissected, and pored over the above with due diligence, I do not detect any letter....important, some important, or very important....stuck between the donkey's ears.....Have you again lost the mail.....Is Bonga-Bonga and/or Lower-Bonga-Bonga in the throes of government shutdown with threat of default....Is that why?...........

ThomasCat

To all those young people who are looking to you for guidance in their career choices, you are not a very good example of a mail carrier....you succumb to the slightest bit of adversity and you have zero zilch focus...as a senior member of the Bonga-Bonga Postal Service the only bird that should have your attention is a carrier pigeon.....

lelabugosi

I really can't understand why so many people have a problem with my ears..........sometimes, it seems as though I am nothing but ears........It's not as though they stand out in any way at all.....a lot.....much.....significantly.......
I am now running around in the dark, searching for rare birds.........tsk....tsk.......

Elfie

You ears!!! Your ears again!! It MUST be possible to fasten them to your head in special situations like this!! Find a bird please, let Juneee have her feather and please give me the rest. I know a lady who makes fine things out of feathers!!

lelabugosi

That's a bit difficult, Juneee, as all I see (apart from the donkey with the letter between his ears) are fruits and vegetables............

juneshone

while you're in that area could you bring me back a quetzal feather, I know it is not very PC but my heart is set on it

lelabugosi

Surreal-painted-pigeon........Discouraging signs would be - torrential rain, vampire bats, armoured tanks, and highwaymen/women/whatevers.......
Mr.Christmas-Carroll.......Actually it was addressed to a Sr.Quextalzuma in Lower-Bonga-Bonga......
Tom-minus.........My ears are only a hindrance when I am battling against the wind.....with the wind behind me, I sail along gracefully (almost).......
Mr.Le-Squirtzenhoffen........The big thing in the middle would be the residence of Sr.Quextalzuma, on top of loadsa' loadsa' steep steps.....As to your suggestion - NO!!...........

patsquire

Hey, this puddytat has a good idea here. And if I remember right.......hmmmmmm........I think I have an ear gun somewhere in the warehouse. A British major from India commissioned it for shooting the huge ears off the deadly Indian vampire bat, rendering them not-so-deadly since they could no longer hear their human prey rustling about at night. It's a double barreled shotgun of peculiar design, which supposedly fires a pair of mirror image crescent shaped patterns. If you aim it just right you miss the head entirely, causing the victim no serious damage, but you clean the ears right off the head neat as a pin. Quite a feat.

So lelabug old buddy old pal, if you decide to take the meowman's advice and you want those ears taken off quickly and painlessly (well almost), lemme know and I'll be glad to perform the service. I'll practice first on a horribly misshapen squash (resembling your, forgive me, ugly head) with an old pair of mittens attached to the sides. Once I can clean those mittens off the sides of the squash without peppering your face, I mean the squash, with very many pellets, I'll be in touch!

ThomasCat

It would seem that you are always too tired to properly deliver the mail...I think it is your ears....cars, airplanes, and other things are built to be streamlined to reduce wind resistance....however every step you take the wind holds you back because of those huge ears....this in turn also too makes you very tired....solution.....tuck your ears into your hat or consider cosmetic surgery....and voila tout suite and hallelujah.....you will now have the energy to deliver your ONE letter.....

patsquire

What's that big thing in the middle? A volcano? Be careful climbing a volcano.

Surreal_Heidi

By the way, lela.... what signs would you find DISCOURAGING?

Surreal_Heidi

It's a miracle that ANY mail makes it to it's intended destination in Bonga-Bonga!!!

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