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You know Jeannie, I cann't still listen to music, very strange is that, because music always made me happy, especially music from the flower power time. On this moment I listen to Zen music and Gregorian chant. This year I stay alone at home with Christmas and also New Years .I lay next to Antonio and wished him a good trip last year, January 7 he died.I may call the psychologist, he is a good friend.Dear Jeannie keep singing, also, once manage me to .Stay healthy and I wish you all the good of the world. I try and do my best, maybe is the next year better for us. Also take care Jeannie Thanks that you write me sometimes. It helps me if I have to cry a little bit.With love Elly
Elly! Hi! It sounds like you are doing better, and trying to move on. Yes, it is hard at first. It was for me too. You have a very positive out look on life and want to move on, that's good. Christmas will be a tough one this year....for New Years, I have plans. I'm still seeing my friend now and then which I really enjoy, and I've been busy and having fun with the Karaoke business. People love to sing, and so do I. But you will build your new life like I did. I wish you well.Take care friend.Jeannie
Dear Jeannie, I'm so glad you're going better/good. I know that I need help for find myself so now I'm going to a psychologist and that works very very good. I must change my life and look good to myself, it's difficult. I wrote that this the hardest and toughest time was with Antonio.Also, I have my entire life bad feelings about Christmas time, I don't why. But I want to start a new life with new friends. Step by step. I hope that I also met a friend like you have met. For this moment I want a good boyfriend for to talk and to cry sometimes, not a husband. If my health is better I want to go do volunteer work a few hours in the week. I have also my normal work.Jeannie, enjoy with your friends and special friend.I light a candle for Antonio and Clen if I visit a church.I like to read some of your if you have time. Blessing and take care. Elly
Hello Elly, I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I have filled my life with being busy and moving forward. Something (or someone, I should say) happened in my life, that made me take a good look at myself and my feelings, which threw me right into the final stage of mouning - the acceptance stage. Someone I'd met about 4 years ago, and I went with friends to see him play (guitar & sing) in the middle of September. I've been seeing him ever since, and it really hasn't been that long, only 2 months. We are friends, and I enjoy his company, it's all good. He even lives in another state, so it's not like I see a lot of him or anything. He's really nice. Boy I sure wasn't looking for this! I'm not looking for another husband either! But it's nice to have friends. So, yes, I'm doing ok, and I hope you will be able to move on soon, but it's all in your own time. You'll get there when you are ready.Take care my friend.Jeannie.
Dear Jeannie, I'm glad it goes well with you. To me, this is a difficult time, it was the terminal weeks of Antonio. I always have a lot of trouble with the winter so dark.I'm really glad you're going better. I hope my steps forward are come soon.The weather is very bad at the moment, there is a hard storm now. I have to go to my work for a few ours, I'm happy that I can do that. Take care too, and continue to make the steps. Bless you. Lovely greetings Elly
Elly, I hope you are doing well, I think about now and then. I'm all right, hope you are too. I've made BIG steps in moving on with my life, sometimes I wonder if they were too big of steps, but I don't think so. I had decisions to make and I made them, and believe it's all for the better. Take care my friend.
Dear Jeannie, also I write lately, I understand, so you do. On Jigidi I write small comments, on the 4 october (my birthday), I received a lot of congratulation off my Jigi-friends, very nice, It helps but Jeannie I cried all day., On the birthday off Antonio my mother got a slight stroke, she was 3 day's in Hospital. Now she much better.You know Jeannie, also if there are people with me, I feel so alone.I don't want to complain though, I want just wrinting a cheerful comment but I cann't. You are right, they can't come back. we have to life with that. I donn't like this time of the year, very dark but Jeannie I try to laugh.We getting there, when, we don't know. I'm always happy with a letter from you, It doesn't matter if there is some time between, only if you have time and desire.Makes me very well. Dear Jeannie thanks and take care of your self and bless you. Lovely greetings Elly. (It went well in restaurant,??? I hope so. I do the same on the 17 novembre (our weddingday, I try it)
Hello dear Elly, I'm so sorry I haven't written much lately. I think about you too and wonder how you are getting along. Me too, sometimes I need to cry, and I just do it. The days are getting eaiser to face, but not always. Bless your heart, Tuesday will be a tough one for you. This Friday would have been our 44th wedding Anniversary. So I understand what you will be going through. What I'm going to do is, I'm going to the restaurant we would have went to, I'm taking his photo with me and set it on the table, then celebrate it with him. If I cry...then I cry.I know you will get through it the best you can. With each passing special day, it makes it more real...they can't come back. The acceptance is so hard.I have had wonderful friends and family to help me through and our Jigidi family have all been a God sent. So please take care. And bless you. Jeannie
Jeannie, keep heart, every day is a struggle and we dont't like this struggle, but what can we do??What a pity that we live so far away, perhaps we can support each other well.Tuesday is the birthday of Antonio ( 63 years ) don't fight too hard, 2 steps forward and 3 reverse.I live very much with you, hope that helps a bit.Lovely greetings Elly
Dear Jeannie, I know that feeling and it's a terrible feeling.Even though the people around you still so sweet, you can only do it of yourself.I know, I cry so much that my eyes are so swelled, that really hurts.I have professional help on this moment, but I have do it, alone and that's how I'm feeling. I wish that I can help you, but I cann't help myself. Know, I think a lot of you and can only say, take the time you need. I look sometimes on this puzzle, I know we see each other. Many Blessings my dear friend with lots of love, Elly
Dear Jeannie, it's a long time ago. I'm glad your family reunions were nice and good. Maybe you have seen that I'm not on Jigidi for a while. I don't feel so good, but doesn't matther. I'm going out often with the train and that gives distraction and I see many cities and villages. I'm going with a good girlfriend.She know when I have it hard, I cry a little bit. I hope so that you feel good, as far as that is possible. When I'm in a church and I light a candle to , always also for Clen. You are often in my thoughts.Maybe I'm on JIGIDI again next week. I do my best. I don't like the winter, I find life still very heavy, It seems to be getting worse. I send you many dear greetings and take care of yourself.Many blessings, dear friend.
Hi Elly, how are you doing? I had a rough week last week, and this week didn't start out so well, but I'm getting alone. I hope things are getting easier for you. But I know still, some days are better that others. We take it as it comes.The family reunions were very nice. It was nice to see everyone.You were so sweet to include Glen in your prayer, thank you for doing that.Take care my friend. Many blessings to you.Jeannie
Hi Jeannie, you have much to do. But it's for family and that's nice, I understand it's difficult, I think you have the will power. Fortunately, you have your family, they will support and understanding.I think that, I have to get used to the new medications.I try to go out with a girlfriend we visit what other cities by train, I have a cheap subscription for the train. Yester I was in Maastricht a very very nice place, and when I am there, I visit always a small chapel and light a candle. Yesterdag was't the first time since Antonio died, I cry and I cry .In my little prayer I also called Clen, and ask energy for us.I still get power from your words. I'm going from 3 to 7 August to Ank. (puzzeljac) I have bougt a new Laptop and her husband helps me to install, may be I"m a few days not on Jigi.Dear Jeannie I wish you strength but also a lot of fun with the family reunion.Let's be happy that we can look back on a happy life with our dear husbands.Take care of yourself too, dear friend.Blessings, Elly(I find it very special a few words sometimes of a dear friend from so far away, the do me good.)
Hi Elly, all of those firsts are so hard, and we face them one at a time, and each day has it's moments. I understand getting tired, I have been too and I'm not really sure why? Today has been a busy day with groceries, cleaning floors, and laundry. I have a family reunion coming up, I haven't been to one in years. The last couple of years when we've all gotten together was for funerals...so I need to get through this, and I will.So are you doing ok? Are you feeling any better? I think about you and hope you are all right.Facing each day will get better as we go along, but Glen will hold my heart forever, as Antonio will yours...and that my dear, is very special.Take care of yourself dear friend.Blessings, Jeannie
Dear Jeannie, today just a small moment. BlessingsLovely greetigs, Elly
Dear Jeannie, I want to write you on the 25th of the month, then I thought I'll wait until after the first.These days are the hardest for you, and I thought maybe you're busy with to do something so that you cann't think too much.I hope the days went fast. Í try to make fun, despite that I'm little bit afraid now when I have a headache. I do what the Doctor tell me, sure, and when it's time I tell my mother and sister the truth.And yes Jeannie chin up, but sometimes I'm so tired, and it takes a lot of effort to be cheerful.Often is't a game face. You say it so well about the broken pieces, I've tears in my eyes but once we are ' whole persons ' again. I was by my sister in law and brother in law the first time without Antonio, it was very difficult but I've done it so the second time is easier.I say it one more time, dear Jeannie, your words do me so good, thanks for your friendship take care of your self. BlessingLovely greetings. Elly (It will be fine with us)
Dear Elly, How are you feeling today?I'm glad to hear you are taking care of yourself. Keep those Doctor appointments, and do what they tell you. I understand not telling your Mother and sister to not make them worry, but they could also help you and comfort you when you need it. So tell them when it's time, and when you need them. OK?You are right, Glen was a fine man, and so good to me. I miss his touch, his kisses...I thank God for every day we had together, and that was 43 years dedicated to each other and our two daughters, both beauties and are successful adults now. I can tell by how you talk about Antonio, your love for him, that he was special also.So chin up, put on the best smile you can, and let the world know you are going to make it !!!!!(It's what we call "putting on your game face". I hide behind my "game face" often around people)I'm right in there with you girl! I'm glad for your friendship also Elly. I'm broken in pieces too, and I hope when I pull myself back together, all the pieces fit together like a Jigidi Puzzle and I make a whole person!!! :o)Have a good day Elly, BlessingsJeannie
Dear Jeannie I don't know what I have to say, I'm so very glad with your long letter and lovely words. What an interesting work did you and you are so respectful to the pupils.The pension rules in the Netherlands are also very changes. I have to work till 65 and 6 months. I'm now 62 years old in October I'm 63.I cann't stop to work, my income is low ,of course I earn more,LOL.I'm partially rejected. I work at the Palace of Justice (the Court).Jeannie, I can see that your Clen is a fine man and seems to me a very sweet man.I'm sure that Clen and also Antonio that we go on with our lives but it's so difficult. But we try. This moment ,I don't feel well. I'm shocked about the doctor told me and also a little bit afraid. I have medicine for the sugar and medicine for heart and blood vessels. I have told my mother and sister nothing they make themselves than too much worry, I 've told my best girlfriend. I promise you I take care of myself. For that Antonio died,he said to me, you have enough friends now, I can go. But I want him.He would watch on me, but I want to touch him and his arms around me, and no we can't never say anymore and no more questions to our loves.I'm, crying too now and feel me so alone but Jeannie we doing our best and try to pick up our lives.Dear Jeannie thank you so much, you are a real good friend .Know I feel with you and take care of you selfBlessings.Dear greetings Elly
Hi Elly, I'm glad you are out and back to work, even though I know it's hard. But you hang in there. I'll be ok as I can be for a few days, then have a break down no matter where I am, Chruch, shopping, driving, at the local hang out, or home alone, where ever. It happens. But our Jigidi family is there for both of us, and they truly do help. They (including you) understand and it lifts my spirits, every now and then a spark of the old me will come out. Though I'll miss Glen and love forever, I know I'll see him again...just like you and Antonio. Keep the faith Elly. You know he wants you to go on, as hard as it is right now. It's ok to cry, and it's ok to laugh and smile too. I'm like you, I try to make a little fun too, it's good for the soul and for the healing. I retired 3 years ago from the job that pays my bills. I retired young but had 25 years in, from a local City School System. I helped teach Special Ed., children with special needs, some mental, some physical. They were all wonderful, they learnd from me, and I learned from them. I treated them with respect, and I got respect and their willingness to work in return. I loved that job, but rules in the retirement system was about to make some drastic changes, and to my benefit financially, I was ahead if I retired when I did, rather than work another 5 years. I got better benfits this way. But I've always been an artist all through the years, and had an afterschool art probram when asked, I also was the year round Child Care directer the school provided, did billing/bookeeping and taxes for their program. Sinse I retired and moved to the lake, I've thrown myself into my art work as a Free Lanace Artist (i pick and choose the jobs I want to do), and have had the opportunity to do a few nice projects. I've taken a break from the art since Glen passed away, but I can feel myself being drawn back to it gradually again before long, I know he'd want that.And Elly, you do a great job with english....it is my first language, and I make mistakes too. So don't feel bad, ok? You know Antonio is watching over you, and wants you to take care of yourself. What will your doctors do for the vasoconstriction? With the small strokes, have you noticed any changes? Diabetes can be tricky, Glen had it also and controlled it with diet and pills, I know some people have to do the shots. And I hope you are looking after the high blood pressure. Is your family still looking in on you now and then? People love you and need you, so take care of yourself! Promise?Glen wanted my to go on with my life, a couple of weeks before he died...he told me so, and he didn't stop there...he said even more. It was things I didn't want to hear...but bless his soul...he loved me with all his heart. I've had that in my life, and I can't ask for anything more. Now I'm crying...but I feel his love.Take care dear friend.Jeannie
word = workone time, becausesorry for the mistakes
For me, goodmorning, I'm on my word now.Yesterday I'm shocked by the results of MRI.I have vasoconstriction,and had already a few small strokes. It is risky becouse because I have diabetes and high blood pressure. It's a bit too much what happened now. I miss Antonio so bad especially now. I'm crying also on my work now, I cann't stop.I don't want to complain but it is equally enough and for the moment i donn't know what to do. I go on but donn't ask me how. I will keep you informed, find our contact very fine and I tell that by the picture of Antonio, take care of your self and thanks for your comment on my site.Try to make a little bit fun. Blessings. Lovely greetings Elly
Dear Jeannie, I've gone back to work last Monday, now I cry in the evening and night,I don't want to cry on my work. I work from Monday to Thursday from 8 to 13: 00.For the remaining time I disapproved. It's for me much better a little bith work.Are you Jeannie, I dont understand that, every day the pain feels more, my heart really hurts, I think your heart too. What are the plans for us???? I let you know about the test. Thanks Jeannie, I wish for us less pain. Also take care. Blessings. Take courage. Elly
Elly, I know just what you mean, I've asked myself the same things. And I'm not me, without him!There are some things he went through that still run through my head also. I guess God has plans for us, to have left us behind. One day at a time dear girl. First I'll face tonight, then I'll face tomorrow and what ever that will bring.Keep me informed on your tests. Take care, Blessings. Jeannie
Hi Jeannie, I'm glad to see you. You know, each day is a hard struggle. Yes I know exactly that feeling.I don't understand myself , I'm crying every day and I cann't stop it. I'm feel so lonely without him, Despite the people around me.I can hardly move at this time, because a bad back.I cann't work so the whole day at home, and you know, then you get no rest in your head. I often think of you and also feel your grief. It helps me though that we can support each other a little. I have only the result of my arm it's a complicated tennis elbow.I must go to the orthopedist. The other test are the results 17 july. Jeannie I think we do our best, but it's so difficult. I'm ask myself, what I'm doing here, what I love most is gone.What a age had your father. Dear Jeannie take care and take your rest. I feel with you, maybe helps a little. Blessing.Many lovely greetings. Elly
Hi Elly, I'm all right, thank you. I hope you are too. I hadn't been on the computer much, hadn't even turned it on for a few days till recently. We had our 4th of July holiday, which usually stretched out through the weekend, and all the holidays are hitting me hard. I'm ok, just sometimes I have to step-back and deal with my feelings. I know you know that feeling too. The 25th of the month bothers me because that's the day he passed on. The 1st of the month bothers me because that's the day he was buried. I know I'll be able to deal with this better later on, but for now it too fresh. I should be taking better care of myself too. So we will both try harder, ok?How are you feeling? What are the Doctors telling you? How did your tests come out? I'm glad your family is there to check in on you. My two girls, and my sisters and brother call regularly to check up on me too.Your Mother is 95? That's wonderful! My Father passed away 2 years ago at the age of 99.Please take care, and I will try too.Lovely greetings to you also dear lady.Jeannie
Jeannie, is't a little bith okè with you????Maybe you have also nowhere feeling and energy??I have thinking often of you, and feel so much regret that I can't help you more.Cann't even help myself.Take good care of your self, I try it also,but it takes so much power and I have'nt more.Blessing dear Jeannie. Lovely greetings Elly
Dear Jeannie, I feel a little bit better ,yesterday I had a girlfriend on visit, and when I cann't thinking, is better.I was in the same hospital and same neurologist who discovered that my husband had lung cancer.I'm there to find out why I was getting '' almost '' capzise. Next week I have to go one day to the hospital for a MRI a EMG and a tilt test. In 2004 I had colon cancer.But not important for me now.I'm not really healthy (doesn't ) my husband supported me always that is why I am so glad I have been able to '' help him ''. I have him on my back with his arms around me dragged through the house. I want feel his arms around me only for a moment. I feel sorry for your girls, terrible.My sister and my mam (95) are here every Sunday, and they cry, the miss him too,very much. Keep courage Jeannie and one day is there the sun maybe also for us.Also Blessings dear Jeannie and thanks.
Hi Elly, are you feeling better? I hope so. Did everything turn out all right when you went to the hospital? Are you ok? You relived what happened to your husband when you went to the hospital, didn't you. You poor girl. It's ok to cry Elly, I do too. Our youngest daughter and her family are here for a few day visit, and our girls are having a hard time too. They are both Daddy's Girls. They want to be with me...but when they come, and their Daddy isn't here, it tears them up. And boy do I understand that! So hang in there dear friend, and we will face this together. Day by day.Blessings dear lady.Jeannie.
Jeannie, when I think I'm going to your site, then you stand by me on the site. Your words are so good and exactly what I also feel, it does so well, while it's so bad,what happens to us.All days I cry cry. I'm searching him in home, but logically, I don't find him. Today I had to go to the hospital for me self, the same where we start with my hubby, I'm confused,everything went as a film beyond, again again.I feel also sorry for you,it's incomprehensible who we are lost. Dear Jeannie thank you so much, you give me friendship. I have to stop, my eyes are full of tears and cann't see well.Also blessings to you and know that I feel with you.Elly
Nice to hear from you Elly. I do that too. I wake up in the morning and say, "well, here is another day." Or at night, I'll say, "there goes another day." I seem to be just existing. I'm retired, but I have projects I work on from time to time. But like you, now and then I have to get out...or just go for a drive. The pain and the emptiness is real. It's like part of your soul died with them. It's hard to express the gut-wrenching feeling of knowing there is no one to hold you tight, or to kiss good night or good moring, to share your day with, to love and understand you, stand beside you...to face what ever life brings your way, the good times and bad times. It's good to have friends and family...but it's not your soul mate. So many times I start to turn to him and share something with him, he's not there. We can't change things or turn back time, I wish we could. For now, the best we can hope for is to dream of them to get to spend a little time with them. And Elly you do a wonderful job with English! Yes, we understand each other, our grief IS the same. I look at photos sometimes too, sometimes cry, sometimes smile. You hang in there and take care of yourself. Make sure you are eating right. We will both take one day at a time, and be ever so greaful for the gift time we were given to share our lives with our loved one.Blessings to you Elly.Jeannie
Dear Jeannie, I find it hard to move on, and often I think when I wake up,again a long day. I work 4 days 5 our so I must go out.It is only good if I don't think.Too bad we live so far away, but your words do me good. I never knew that I can have pain in my heart, really pain but it's true.My mother and sister are hee they look in old photo books but even that I can not without crying and that I try to do only if I'm only. Dear Jeannie, I welcome our correspondence though it's difficult in English but that's okay, you understand me,our grief is the same.take care of yourself and try to have fun in life. Lovely greetings Elly
I'm glad you stopped by. How did you know I was wondering about you and how you were doing?For me, the cemetary is an hours drive away, but I go fairly often. It's near the house we built, but then we moved. And me too, I make myself go out to be among the living, but there's no joy in it.Like you, I try to hold in the grief till no one is around. Take care, and look after yourself, Jeannie
Jeannie,I so agree with your words,and it's true, maybe there is a plan, but indeed that don't helps now I'm trying to go out but I can still don t enjoy.' The cemetery is across the street and I go every 3 days the plants watering, I feel calm when I am there.Maybe word it even better for us, but what do we do with the grief?Am really happy with your support, maybe it helps you too a bit I feel exactly what you're going through.Thank you very much dear Jeannie.Lovely greetings Elly
Hi Elly, I hope you stop by again soon.How are you getting along? Better I hope.I drift through the days and fill them what ever activity I can think of, and the nights are long.Father's Day was tough. It's hard to be left behind...people tell me, "God has a plan for you", and I'm sure he does...but it doesn't make it any easier.Take care my friend, and keep the faith. You are not alone. I'm right there with you.Jeannie
Thank you very much, Jeannie, sometimes I look here at this puzzle and the sweet words comfort me.I hope so that it goes well with your.It is very difficult, 1 step forward and 2 steps backward.Thanks Jeannie, and keep your good. Lovely greetings Elly.
Elly, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. I just tonight saw your posting.I do understand. I feel so bad for you, and for me, both. We were together for 43 years and we were everything to each other also. I know I'm not the only person going through this, but it's still a very lonely place to be in. So you take care of yourself, that's important. I'm here for you too.Jeannie
Jeannie, I don't know how I do it.I cry cry and feel me so empty and lost.I often feel that I don't red it without him.We were 40 years together, he was only 62 years old and my all.The end was very frightful, a martyrdom. I have him,only nursed.That's was what I want to do for him.I don't know how to go on, I do my best. Jeannie thank you very much for you understand and interest.Also strenght ad sorry for my long comment, but again thank you. Hugs. Lovely greetings Elly
Elly, I'm so sorry for your loss. You DO know. Hugs to you.How are you doing? Jeannie
I know it's a late comment but, I have read it now.I know what you feel I lost my dear sweet man 7 January 2013.Toughness Elly (fanaat)
Thank you Auntie Sue.
Yes, most definitely a very handsome man. So much love and friendship expressed for you, Healer. Again, God bless.
Thank you Pat,Thank you Mariolyn,He was so kind and very special.
Thanks for sharing with us your special guy.
This is a gorgeous photo. Thanks so much for sharing..
Thank you every one of you. He was very special.Love at first sight.
Thank you for posting such a special photo. Thinking of you.
Sending prayers to comfort you and your family, Take care. Hugs. . . Naoma
Thank you for the picture. Take care.
Jeannie, he will always be special. Thank you for sharing your love and memories with us. Bless you, dear heart.
Thank you Healer - My thoughts have been with you.
SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, GOD BLESS YOU.
so sorry for you Healer!
Thank you Healer,may God bless you.
He was really special Faye, I wanted you all to meet him.
Blessings on you all.