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Mr.Pee-Le-Squirt At The D.O.L.L.S. House.....

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During a long (2 days) conversation with Miss Adelia B.Bugosi, who is the great aunt twice removed of uncle/Dr.A.B.Bugosi, I have uncovered many revealing FACTS about the stay of Mr.Pee Le-Squirt in the D.O.L.L.S. House.........revealing FACTS which I shall now reveal in a revealing manner......
I quote Miss Adelia B........"How can I forget that loathsome man with a limp?.....He was admitted to our care as he was mentally unbalanced after being jilted at the altar.......He had an obsession with sponge baths and time and time again would drop the soap in the bath, challenging the nurses to 'find it if they dare'...........
The funny thing was that he actually walked voluntarily into our institution, as he professed to be 'an international arms dealer'.....sure enough, when he opened his case it was full of prosthetic arms........
Then he broke down and cried, lamenting the fact that he was all alone in the world - while throwing the arms at any nurse whose name happened to begin with the letter 'B' (his bride-not-to-be was called Brunhilde)........Well, with all these arms flying through the air, something had to be done, and Dr.A.B. Bugosi sr.sr. decided to tie him to an immovable object i.e.nurse Olga Balaclava, who was a giantess......
He eventually escaped by setting fire to the sawdust in the operating theatre.......Dr.A.B.sr.sr. had been sawing logs at the time, to warm our dear patients........
We held a huge party once he had gone......."

I rest my case........

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Plumpossum

David, please leave a trail of crumbs so that we can rescue you. Meanwhile, please take two aspirin and lie down until you feel better.

david06520

they're coming to take me away, ha ha, ho ho, hee hee
those nice young men in their bright white coats...

juneshone

don't say you're confused. they'll have you in that dolls house in a trice

belaminx

Confuddled M'sieur Bugosi? Vraiment? Ooh, must've been all the baloney floating around!

Elfie

Thanks so very, very much for guiding me through the Latin mazes, a-maze-ing how tricky things can be really!! I still don't vote for Siberia!!

juneshone

Dear Mr P Squirt, cue violins, I swear I could hear them when reading your sad tale of the dog bite. My punishment for whatever you have done, is to listen to screechy violins for a very long time whilst being guarded by Dogdaze the Wonder dog.

lelabugosi

pretty-vixen.......you are slightly confuddled, for this is nurse Adelia B.Bugosi - Olga Balaclava would have been far too big to fit in the picture........
Therefore the possibility exists that we are indeed relatively related through relations, in a relative sort of way......

belaminx

Ooh look...Olga looks exactly my dear departed grandmother!! I wonder if she actually emigrated and didn't tell us?

M'sieur PSquash, thankyou so much for your erudite elucidations, have you been kissing the baloney stone perchance in your travels?

david06520

{Hello, Hanne! the poems I gave are both in English. You have to read them out loud...}

lelabugosi

Ah, the things we learn (and imagine) on jigidi........

patsquire

This damned auto-correct drives me crazy, and it has no idea how to cope with Latin. So here is the accurate version of my joke posted an hour ago, with an unnoticed, erroneous "correction." Please accept my apologies.

One night Julius Caesar happened to catch sight of his beloved wife, nude, stepping into her bath. Later he confessed to her, "Veni, vidi, veni."

patsquire

Elfie! Elfie! Don't bother trying to translate David's poem. It's a joke I learned in the Pennsylvania Dutch country as a teenager.

Say Willie, see her go.
Forty buses in a row.
No (???) they be trucks.
What is in them? Cows and ducks!

I learned a slightly different version:

Saville der dago,
Touzin busses inaro,
Nochoe demis trux,
Summit couzin, summit dux.

Say Willie there they go,
Thousand buses in a row.
No Joe, them is trucks.
Some with cows in, some with ducks.

David is originally a Pennsylvanian, like most good Americans.

(The rest is phonetic. I leave it for you to figure out. It's slightly naughty.)

gemstone

david-of-many-numbers...what are you doing at the Ladies instead of the Gents?

lelabugosi

Yes.....it is all very confusing.........ergo multi tutti confunditi..............(or words to that effect).......

Elfie

And now - Latin dictionaries!! Sigh!!

david06520

Civile si ergo
Fortibus is in ero.
Gnoses mare, thebe trux.
Vatisinem? Causan dux!

L O, L O, A Q I C...
O, I 8 2 Q B 4 I P!

lelabugosi

Tsk,tsk..........proxime accessit................

patsquire

Ita, ita, consentio.

lelabugosi

pax maternum, ergo pax familiarum................

patsquire

...... and pax vobiscum.

lelabugosi

Yes, Mr.Squirt......"FALSE IN EVERYTHING!"........one lie leads to one thousand lies, ipso factum, ad decorum, t.rex.........(Siberia should be nice at this time of year).......

patsquire

Elfie darling, because it would make me sound too much like Hillary Clinton!

patsquire

Oh-oh. I hope nobody knows the second half of the Latin phrase "falsus in uno." And I REALLY hope nobody looks it up.

Elfie

Patsy, why don't you say that it is just so?? It isn't that bad really?? Is it?? I guess that all of us have suffered bad times in our lives and perhaps have done things we aren't too proud of now, but nevertheless life goes on, we are here, you are here - why not say: well, it was so, and so what???

gemstone

Rebuttal completed. The jury will now retire...and must consider the perjured remark: "with the proper respect" in its deliberations. Recommendations for sentencing could be included in the decision...like Siberia.

david06520

I think he meant 'fair' as in balloons-clowns-carnival-games-on-the-village-green...

patsquire

...... and she needn't necessarily be "fair." I treat all maidens (and nonmaidens, and old maids) equally, the same, elagalitarianisticallywise, and with the proper respect.

gemstone

TMI!

patsquire

...... and carrying a sponge with her.

lelabugosi

I am sure that even now, at this very moment, you have a bar of soap secreted 'somewhere' about your person, in the hope that some fair maiden will be suffering from a 'soap shortage'........

patsquire

That does look like my half-brother, though, the distinguished DoctorMilitiusBonifacio.

patsquire

There is no extensive rebuttal needed here. This comical piece of fabricated chicanerous chicanery can be debunked easily thus:
A. Baloney
B. Baloney
C. Baloney
D. Baloney
and
E. The only time I have ever had a limp was almost a year ago when the heinous hell-hound and mangy mutt dogdaze attacked me at the Bonga-Bonga Games, just before the Zebra Low-Jump Event and humped my leg so viciously that he almost killed me. Unconscious, I then fell, regrettably, under the care of my vindictive ex-wife octotmom, who as you may remember was a legal secretary, NOT a nurse! Octomom, with every evil intent, dusted my leg and wrapped it in gauze, but rather than dusting it with antibiotic, she used DRIED TADPOLE SQUEEZINGS!!! Thus drugged, insensible and infected by that filthy mutt, I almost succumbed. Almost. Nearly. Close to death, is what I'm sayin'.

By the Grace of G*d some traveling UN nurses came through Bonga-Bonga at that critical time, discovered me feverish, unclean and dying in a grossly contaminated hospital tent at the site of The Games. They took me to their hotel suite, cared for me in round-the-clock shifts and cleaned me up with sponge baths. I admit the sponge baths were wonderful and I became unashamedly addicted to them. This is the ONLY PART of lelabug's libelous scrivenings that is actually, in fact, factually true. Of course, the nurses themselves enjoyed the sponge baths so much that I was getting one on every shift, if you know what I mean. (And if you have any doubt call me at 1-800-555-getlucky and I'll explain it to you in graphic detail.)

But other than that temporary limp, the rest of lelabug's story is FALSE, FALSE, FALSE!

david06520

You have told the tale with irresistable force.

lelabugosi

Twister-of-winged-messenger........This is actually nurse Adelia B.Bugosi herself, in person......she carries a ukelele, as it was her job to entertain our residents.........she does however carry a Derringer in her pocket, and informs me that Mr.LeSquirt once threw a hand and a finger at her, as her second name and her surname began with a 'B' - she shot them to smithereens.........(In another incident nurse Barbie Betty Bugosi had an arm, a hand, and a finger thrown at her).......
Mr.LeSquirt always hid the bar of soap, somewhere 'about his person'.......

And is the "nurse"(bride?) carrying a violin or a machine gun in that case? Maybe she was trained to shoot down the flying arms. There is also a suspicious bulge in her right pocket. Perhaps the infamous bar of soap? Seems there might be a side story in this "lady".

lelabugosi

I feel sure there will be a barrage of LIES forthcoming, and on their way........sooner or later........

gemstone

And is there a rebuttal?