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Juneee Prepares Kaleidoboy's Sponge-Bath

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After Jenny's unsuccessful attempt at washing Kaleidoboy with a paintbrush and "Pfor" Ostrich Oil Rub (interrupted by Bubba's return home), our not-so-heroic-hero was dispatched to the cosy abode of Juneee-was-shining, in order to undergo a thorough cleansing and baby oil rub......
Tomorrow he will be examined by Dr.Adonis B.Bugosi, who is preparing to prepare a preparatory preparation to cure his rash, which was caused by that horrible green ostrich goo............

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patsquire

No Parliament? No Parliament??? Well then what the heck was that big building we used to see a couple of blocks behind Main Street? Ohhh!!!! That was the Parliament Cigarette factory, wasn't it? Oops! Sorry! OK, forget it Freedom Fighters. My mistake.

Meanwhile, I direct your attention to lelabug's newest fantasy of lies and fabrications, wherein he tries to pass off my granddaughter's 5th grade art class drawing as some major masterpiece of antiquity featuring, of course, his supposedly grand Bugosian ancestry.

(No sugar in your tea, lela? I didn't know that about you.....)

lelabugosi

WELL!........I see from your rantings that you are still as mad as a marching hare, and pickled as a gherkin!.......
I have not dissolved Parliament, because Parliament never existed!......Have I ever mentioned Parliament?......Have you ever seen Parliament?.........I think not!.......I am hardly going to dissolve a cube of sugar in my tea, if I DON'T TAKE SUGAR!......
The people who make the decisions in Bugosiland hold little 'family get-togethers' once a month - that is when we make important decisions regarding the welfare of our citizens.....either by mutual agreement, tossing a coin, or picking of straws.....what could be more democratic?........
May I assure you, Mr.le Squirt, that your rantings and ravings only serve to draw attention to the fact that it is YOU who are addicted........to unsettling our fair people, and getting your end away with anyone with a female name.......(exception being made for our lost and much-lamented 'Sisters-Of-The-Darn)........
I therefore and heretofore refuse to listen to any more of your fanciful fantasies..........
GOOD DAY SIR!...............HMPH!..........

twoclubs

Yup, I am in agreement pdwhateverisready.

pdevredis

Yup, it's definitely him--he--they.

patsquire

Heh-heh-heh....Dogdaze...yes, I'd quite forgotten all about that mangy mutt while I was oot 'n aboot with Agents 99 and 86 and 99 and 007 (and 99) defending the world and Bugosiland from nefarious plots by various nefarious plotters.

But was I wasting my time??? Was I spinning my wheels defeating KAOS and Smersh and preventing the blowing up of Parliament??? Was I risking the dangers and suffering the horrible third-world living conditions of Myanmar, Zambia, Zanzibar, Tasmania and the Solomons for naught while right here in Bugosiland the greatest mischief of all was being perpetrated?

No Parliament? No Parliament??? NO PARLIAMENT!?!?! I take one little excursion to fight bad guys, and I return to find that the evil lelabug has STRUCK in my absence, lelabug has DISSOLVED Parliament, lelabug has RENDERED the good people of Bugosiland defenseless against HIS tyranny, by destroying FROM WITHIN the only democratic institution left to defend the people's civil rights P A R L I A M E N T, which I and 86 (and the lovely 99) were defending from OUTSIDE ATTACK!!!

Well, Bugosi, you can forget it. Your evil plan to enslave Bugosiland while I was away might have worked if I had fallen under the assassins' knives, or if 86 had failed to discover the gunpowder plot (or if I had hooked up with 99 and spent the rest of my blissful life enraptured and ensorceled by her many charms) BUT NONE OF THAT HAPPENED!!! I am alive, and I am back, and I intend to rally those few citizens of Bugosiland who have refrained from partaking of the Tadpole Wine (for the Tadpole Wine befuddles the mind and makes its drinkers subject to believing every word that dribbles vilely out of lelabug's deceitful mouth) and TOGETHER WE WILL RESIST! WE WILL FIGHT FOR JUSTICE! WE WILL DEFEND OUR FREEDOMS!

I know, Churchslut, my 1-800-555-getlucky answering machine is chock full of unreturned calls. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Robster, I was touched by your welcome . . . until you claimed that "even lela missed" me . . . because as we now know, lelabug has been busy dissolving Parliament and tightening his death grip on Bugosiland freedom. I suspect you, too, have fallen under the spell of the Tadpole Wine. Doubleclubber, bookmeister, shiny month, welcome to the resistance! Vive Le Resistance! Doubting furry diamond, investigate away! You'll find it's me, or it is I, or the regal us. Elfie darling, there are no foreigners in cyberworld, and Bugosiland's borders have always been wide open.

lelabug, gird thy loins! Your depraved depravity, your malignant malevolence, your virulently wicked intention of inflicting suffering throughout Bugosiland through catastrophic destruction of civil rights, democracy, freedom and yes, even Parliament itself . . . . . all of this and more WE WILL FIGHT!

Poor, dear lelabug, I guess it must be the Tadpole Wine addiction. What else could have diverted your once brilliant, egalitarian mind away from "To Serve And Protect" and resulted in just the opposite, "To Punish And Enslave?"

Elfie

Escort Agency - "churchly"???? The world isn't different from what it has always been, let's have some popcorn and a drink a see and old movie!! Dogdaze - it's a long time since we met, are you hibernating??

lelabugosi

Well!...I find myself getting more and more confused......A shrunken, gooey, Kaleidoboy.......Mr.Le-Squirt trying to save Bugosiland.............Crows pooping all over the place.........and to top it all we now appear to be running an Escort Agency!..........What is going on?!.........Has the world gone sane?!.......

Church_Lady

Mr P Squirt! Why have not returned my calls. I have left numerous messages at 1 800 GET-LUCKY!

juneshone

just sic Dogdaze on him, he'll smell if it is the real McCoy P Squirt

gemstone

Be very careful, lela. I, too, also, perhaps, question the authenticity of THIS PSquirt as I have seen not only this profile picture but ALSO this name as short entries on other puzzles. Sooooo was he really away? Was he really fighting CHAOS? And is this the genuine PSquirt or someone ingenuine trying to infiltrate the tadpole wine cellar? An investigative investigation by our top notch investigators...or alligators should be begun at once!

twoclubs

Wait!! Do I see PSquirt? My eyes deceive me? Must be the tears or soap clouding my vision.

twoclubs

I have just returned from church where I was seeking healing but instead found things so disturbing that I had to come home to Bugosiland. KBoy has been swaddled, switched, twitched and gooed over by turpentine, soap and some crow goop. Sad. Very sad. I shall cry and then be on my way.

Elfie

Perhaps Kboy is exactly the size he should have been all the time???

Elfie

Patsy!!!! It's SO good to see you again!! Have missed you SO much even if I don't understand so very much of your eloquent speeches!! Do you know that your well turned language sometimes is very difficult for a foreigner??? Indeed I've missed it too!! Oh happy day!!

juneshone

a thought just struck me, perhaps Dr Adonis got his unctions confused and used vanishing cream on KBoy, better find them both quick before he melts like a snowman in sunshine

Robbiel

Hey there Squire, the Robster is so glad to see you back, even Lela missed you (look at his picture!) Wicca, would you please stop pooping on my head?!

lelabugosi

Juneee........that is indeed a distinct possibility.......

lelabugosi

SOOOOO, YOU RETURN!!.......I am flabbergasted, aghast, perplexed, and a teensie-weensie bit confused at the information divulged in your latest comunicado........
I am flabbergasted that you actually know 86.......for he is one of ours......(a da*n fine one too, three)....
I am aghast that you have been involved in a plot against a plot to sink Bugosiland.....
I am perplexed as to your motives in all this hullabaloo......
And I am a teensie-weensie bit confused about the plot to blow up our Parliament........AS WE HAVE NO PARLIAMENT!!.......
Moreover, bye-the-bye, also, as well, too.......how do we know you are who you type you are?.......Your profile picture looks right enough, but I have noticed others here who look JUST LIKE YOU!.......(going under different names, of course).........
IF you are who you say you are, it is my considered opinion (after giving the matter due consideration), that you have been in Equatorial Guinea, attempting to corner the market in Goliath Frogs, and thus submerge the entire world economy in CHAOS!.........
I shall now be on the lookout for stray Goliath Frogs.......

juneshone

odd that KBoy reverts to babyhood just as the PSquirt arrives, or maybe the fairies left this horrid child and stole our big fine Boy for their own nefarious purposes, maybe he will spend eternity sweeping up leaves for little folks

juneshone

Oh there you are Mr P Squirt, you have been sorely missed in some circles. tried to think of somebody really nasty to take your place, even thought of offering myself for the position but there's only one Mr Psquirt. Now I understand you were on an important mission to save Bugosiland, all along you were our hero. Hope this doesn't mean you are going to turn all squishy on us we need our proper squirty back

patsquire

The subcontinent is no longer a mystery to me, nor are Borneo, Sumatra, the Lesser Antilles or Whittier, California. I have been on assignment working directly under CONTROL with Agent 99 and, unfortunately, Agent 86 who was always horning in on my attempts to seduce 99 with such d*mned success that I never actually completed a hook-up with her.

We were, of course, hunting subversives and terrorists working for KAOS and, for a while, lending 007 a hand foiling Slersh pots. Smersh pots. Plots. Foiling...Smersh...plots! It was deadly dangerous work but I and the other patriotic heroes of CONTROL were glad to do it.

Why? You ask? Because, I say because we uncovered sinister plans of the most sinister kind to sinisterly subvert and terrorize . . . . . . . . . . BUGOSILAND ITSELF!!!!!!!!! Agent 86, bless him, uncovered a cache of gunpowder with which KAOS was plotting to blow up Bugosiland's Parliament. While he was off doing that I was plotting to uncover Agent 99, but just as I was unbuttoning the last obstacle to my glorious goal, 86 burst in with the news of the Gunpowder Plot. Bless him!

Anyway, now you understand why I have been incoomunity, uncommudicato, out of touch for the last couple of months.

I have been saving Bugosiland!

wicca

Jignut is working on a potion to reverse KBoy's "condition". Me.....I am innocent of any evil doings.....well except for pooping on the curtains.

Robbiel

Oh man I bet Wicca and jig are thinking up some nasty stuff right now!!!
Thanks David, I'll get my shower now.

lelabugosi

Ah, david-chaucer-many-numbers......a delightful little ditty in praise of the nectar of the tadpoles!......
Alas! and alack!....If we are to believe the photo posted by Madame-of-the-temple, then Kaleidoboy is but a shadow of his former self, as he has been reduced to the size of a baby........it is either down to witchcraft, Jenny's turpentine, or that curtain-pooping crow........and all this after it had taken him 37 years to grow to his full size!.....

david06520

O! Water cold we may pour at need
down a thirsty throat and be glad indeed;
but better is Tadpole Wine, if drink we lack,
and Water Hot poured down the back.

Church_Lady

Juneee! What did put in K-Boy's bathwater? http://www.jigidi.com/puzzle.php?id=60DPBI6H

juneshone

glad you like the little song, it's Peregrine Took's bath song. And now the clean boy is fast asleep and dreaming pure dreams and I am going to sleep with him er.........let me rephrase that I am going to sleep also, on my own, in my own bed. goodnight all and don't forget to wash behind your ears, specially those who are well endowed in that area, I shall be examining.

Robbiel

Jenny was so glad to get rid of the pest (Her words). Of course I wasn't worried, I knew Junee and Churchy baby would intervene!
Nice new look Bugsy!!

lelabugosi

What a lovely little song, Juneee.......I am sure that will put.....I mean send, him to sleep...........

Elfie

But it's beautiful, Juneee, - Bent please my handkechief - just SO poetic!!! Sleep well little boy!!

juneshone

see that stupid boy, he insists on wearing his cape in the bath, despite the nasty rumours put about by that churchbird he is still a nice boy. Well never mind, it will have to be key-hole bathing. Rub-a-dub-dub a boy in the tub. I have those nice scratchy bath gloves and a big soft sponge. When the whole horrid performance is over, if he has been good, he will lie on the bed to recover while I untangle his lovely curly locks then slowly caress him with an ostrich feather. Those darned turkeys had to be good for something. Then I will sing a little song for him and hopefully he will fall asleep, aah!!!

Sing hey! for the bath at close of day
that washes the weary mud away!
A loon is he that will not sing:
O! Water Hot is a noble thing!

kaleidoboy

Madame-of-the-temple......last time I turned up for Bible Studies, there was not a book in sight - anyway Juneee has loads of books with nice pictures that she lets me look at, as long as I don't draw in them........

photogent

Holy support hose Junee you look more lovely then usual.

Church_Lady

I'm not concerned about K-Boy. He will soon tire of Junee's smother mothering and come back to me for more "Bible studies". BTW that is not a rash....it's LIPSTICK!

cakes1947

I hope those are ''textured'' stocking Juneee is wearing!! Thanks Lela!! :)))
(time, 1:45)

twoclubs

Forgot to mention, love the new Doo Lela! Nice ears!!

lelabugosi

bookie-person......the thing is, Kaleidoboy is just a 'growing boy' and we fear that in the hands of madame-of-the-temple, he would grow a little too fast.........(so to speak).......
double-batter........Yes, Juneee is well-prepared......

lelabugosi

Yes, mother-of-all-chickens - but he doesn't really ever smile............he's better at the 'confused' look!....

twoclubs

Oh my. Junee looks so delighted to be helping. KBoy, you might get yourself in deep water if you stay. Or perhaps that is the intent. Nonetheless or less than none or more than nothing or something at all, you will be clean. Very clean. Scrubba Dub Dub clean. They now have nylon bubbles to scrub with. Perhaps you will be rid of your rash but not your brash?

chickiemama

You'd think Kaleidoboy would have a smile on his face.