Ah, O-Heidi of the floppy clocks, you detected a meaning in my tone that exceeded my words. And you're right! I doth protested too much without, or with, um, less meaning to my fervor than my meaning, I mean, right? What I'm saying so eloquently is there's nothing wrong with being a Barloff. Indeed they are the well moneyed (and therefore superior) side of the Bugosi/Barloff family. The moiety with the moolah. The parties of the propertied part. Progeny of the great, successful, wealthy, popular famous movie star Koris Barloff, as opposed to descendants (who have descended far too low) of the original Lela Bugosi, failed movie star and drug addict.
And I'm proud to say I am the Barloffs' Attorney of Record because they can AND DO pay so well. (I'm proud to be anybody's attorney if they can pay.)
Moi?!? A Barloff?!? Never! I am merely the Barloffs' At-Law, which they are entitled to a good At-Law and I am entitled to my 40%! I, however, am a Squire, Esquire!
I spoke to a fellow who is in his 30s yesterday. When I mentioned WWII he said, "I wasn't around back then, so it didn't happen." Today I am reminded of that fellow by Mr. ThomCat, who wasn't around to see the horrors of B.A.R.F. and other atrocities committed in Bonga-Bonga (riding a ZEBRA over steeplechase jumps, for instance!) so he thinks Bonga-Bonga is a warm and fuzzy and innocent place. Well, I just hope he never wanders around alone and gets SNATCHED by the thugs who kidnap victims for unimaginable experimentation within the dark bowels of B.A.R.F.!
wicca, you can agree with psquirt that maybe it would be better if lela keeps Bonga-Bonga closed but, I don't want lela to get discouraged again.....I want to visit Bugosiland every day.....
Psquirt, you can just go sit on a thorn somewhere and leave us all alone.....we love Bonga-Bonga and all its inhabitants and institutions and factories and tadpole ponds.....you are the only one with a problem.....so get lost.....begone....outta here.....go ride your bike somewhere else!!......
Mr.Squirt-Andrews.......Want it or not, Bonga-Bonga is an essential part of the fabrication.....I mean, fabric, of many lives.....is an essential fabrication of.........is........COMING BACK!!
Wicca darling, you may rest assured that I always stand ready to give you up close and personal assistance with your tail. Feathers!
Before I jump on this bandwagon (which is already getting so crowded) perhaps I might suggest that we contemplate the history of Bonga-Bonga.
It is home to the nefarious D.O.L.L.S. House, where nubile young maidens are lobotomized and held for the rest of their natural lives to do . . . . . well, I mean, you know, to do who-knows-what for the various Bugosis, except that we do know babies are being born all the time in there!
It houses the secret headquarters (H.Q.) of B.A.R.F. ~ ~ ~ the even MORE NOTORIOUS Bugosi Animal Research Farm, in which unspeakable vivisectionist cutting, splicing and cross-breeding is conducted resulting in some of the most horrific, weird, terrifying creatures escaping or being let loose on mankind.
It is, of course, the world's center of tadpole-secretion products producing production. These tadpole products, wine, skin creams, deodorant, hair products and now even lubricants, are INSTANTLY ADDICTIVE! Once a person uses or even touches them he or she is doomed to a lifetime of tadpole dependence thus lining the pockets of the Bugosis with money that could otherwise go to Child Welfare, Worthy Charities and Lawyers who charge a modest 40% for their services!
I could go on, but I'm getting old and I'm starting to forget some of the Bonga-Bongan outrages in the history of Bugosiland. You can check the archives yourselves.
So let's take some time for contemplation . . . . . . . . . . do we really want this ? ? ? ? ? ?
Not to worry, unclebluebottle......once the front gates get oiled then your daughter Berenice will probably like to rub the rest of it on the bottom of her shoes......I know she likes to dress up like a bee and tramp on the flowers with her sticky shoes.....
Dear Uncle Bluebottle.....even though the gates were closed and traffic was down.....no tourists....he managed to keep the hardware store going and is now concocting the oil....what a guy!....
I wonder how long it will take to get the gates open to Bonga-Bonga.....they were shut with such a loud bang......I'm hoping the locking system isn't warped.....
There certainly is a lot of throbbing going on around here and I am such a young, innocent girl that I don't know which throb is yours and which throb is mine......
I am always looking for qualified nurses' aides so I would be very happy to have your assistance......you could also take photographs of me ministering to the mortally wounded....perhaps they might put my picture on the cover of the Bugosi Enchanting Little Children's Hospital (B.E.L.C.H.) annual newsletter.....
I am a thorough professional in all areas.....I would love to see your warts......some people will read your fortune in tea leaves.....I can tell what's coming up in your future by examining your warts......it's very exciting, especially when done at high altitudes......
Ohh, Nursie.......I shall be delighted to serenade you in my Sopwith! We shall scale the heights together........Then maybe you'd care to examine my warts?...........
MrChristmasCarol.....you have stirred things up in a wonderful way.....however, I still think we need the backup from the U.N......in my previous remarks I certainly erred in saying 'when they arrest you'.....I really meant to say 'when they take you into custody'.....that is something altogether different.....
And, by the way, Wainthorpey.......you are such a cutie!....I am a wing walker from a long way back so I will join you in your Sopwith Camel......but, of course, it will be all business.....I'm not THAT kind of girl!.....
Oh joy, the troops are gathering to march forward behind Jim who is carrying our S.O.B.B. flag.....sparkleyrock is singing at the top of her lungs.....I am there with my box of Bandaids and arm splints to minister to the fallen....our tears have not fallen in vain......
Fear not, faithful followers.......Bonga-Bonga will rise from the ashes! We realise this sorry state of affairs cannot continue forever, and hereby vow to do our utmost to right the wrongs which have befallen us during these dark days....... Bugosiland will not go down with a whimper......without a whimper.......without a fight!
Oh Jim, you've hit the head on its nail.....this is what you must do.....go immediately to New York......take pictures of the U.N. with your trusty camera.....they will then arrest you for spying and they will take you inside to give you the once-over.....it is at that moment that you can S.O.B.B. your heart out and make a heart-wrenching appeal on our behalf..........take the dogs.....they will add poignancy to your sad plight.....I will be waiting up here in Canada to hear how you make out.......
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